Just because I’m losing doesn’t mean I’m lost. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop. Doesn’t mean I’ll cross. – Lost by Coldplay
It’s been a long week trying to get annual reviews and other administrative tasks out of the way. That is also hard when you are trying to get ahead to go on vacation. I feel like I’ve been on conference calls all week long and it is only Wednesday. I always wondered how my generation gets lost in a job that will make the years pass. Did my own dad spend 30 years going through the motions at the same job? I can’t imagine looking into people’s mouths everyday for 30 years could pass the time so quickly for him. I highly doubt it. Maybe it is kids who help time fly.
Life is long and some days you feel better than others. Some days you just don’t even want to get up and get out. Tonight my mind said no and my body said no, but I neeeded to go for my nightly run. Just like life every day, you feel up to the task and others you don’t. As I ran I felt sluggish and my mind and body screamed for me to stop. By the time I was done I was out of breath and felt totally wiped out until I heard Lance Armstrong’s voice on my iPod, “Congratulations, that was your best time yet”. It just goes to show you that even on the most trying of days you can still give it your all and succeed.
I was so focused on the pain in my body that I almost forgot all the thoughts that ran through my mind as I ran. It’s like working all day and forgetting all the conversations you had. As I ran tonight in the refreshing rain I did some dreaming. I’ve really been enjoying the song, Lost , by Coldplay. I sometimes dream about my children playing the songs themselves. My daughter on the piano and son on the guitar. Silly I know, but the funny things that pass through your mind when running. I think I do it quite often really. My children have been on my mind a lot lately. Because they were so helpful during my wife’s illness we let them devide our next family vacation destination. They have both excelled at school this year despite all the distractions in our home. Today we got the word that our daughter, like our son, was going to be put in advanced math class. It is such a relief to know your children are excelling in school. It was the first time I had heard my daughter was exhibiting strong academic skills.
These are life markers. Maybe these are the kinds of markers which got our parents through those long years. It wasn’t their work but rather the lives they lived. For me these days it is simply watching my children grow and watching my wife get better. Seeing her take care of me and our children shows me that she is slowly regaining her confidence. Small steps in life, but big steps for her I am sure.
I can’t wait to take her out this weekend for Valentine’s. I know it is such a Hallmark holiday and we should live everyday like it is Valentine’s Day, but this Valentine’s is obviously a little more important than others in the past.