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“If the sun is not shining on you, may it be shining in you.” – Dean Karnazes, Ultra-Marathoner

I’ve been asked by many how my wife is doing physically after her latest procedure and why I don’t discuss it more here.  Well fortunately my wife is doing well such that we don’t have to discuss her battle every day. While someone suggested I actually keep a cancer blog and a non-cancer blog, I just don’t have the time.  This blog is about my life.  Its work. Its family. Its my thoughts all in one place.  For anyone who reads this and puts their foot in my shoes, they’ll likely be touched by the same family, work and health issues at some point in their lives.  For me it is about finding others like me.  Some might be in exactly in the place I am or might have been where I am in the past and help me get through some of life’s issues.

So the answer is: My wife is fine and back at almost normal activity levels although she can’t exercise full on for a few more weeks.  She still has some sutures that we don’t want to pop out like they did last time.  It is important that the sutures are allowed to heal naturally so that the scars will heal properly.

It has been a little over 6 months since her cancer surgery and it feels like so long ago. It has also been 3 months from the follow up procedure to complete her recovery and those physical scars while fading and healing well do not compare to the mental healing she has done.  I have primarily focused on my wife’s mental well-being because I think it is just as important as her physical healing and in many ways I think helps a person to recover.

In fact, her mother always used to say that she knew my wife was feeling better when she started yapping away.  Tonight my wife was yapping away about all the plans she had for the next couple of weeks.  Of course my telling her to slow down only turned into a mini-discussion in which I told my wife I was so proud of her comeback and the fact that she wanted to relieve me of my worries about her as well as her wanting to show me how she has learned to embrace life more than ever.  Holding back a couple weeks should not preclude her from anything that life has left in store for her.  It’s like keeping a stallion in the starting gates before a big race!

As I’ve said in the past, my wife is my current inspiration and like everyone I look for different kinds of inspiration physically and mentally all the time. Why is that?  I just think that some points of inspiration lose their effectiveness after repetitive use.  Sometimes its a song, its a person, its a story, but for me I am constantly in search of a new idea or passion to get me through that next high in life.  My wife is learning the same.

She is now in her fourth month of her 36 month trial of monthly shots.  I laughed and told her it is like making 36 monthly payments on a car.  She gave me a wry smile.  Sometimes my analogies make her just cringe.  The good news this week is that she got the reports back that she is metabolizing the Tamoxifin very well which means that the drug is taking effect and hopefully the results will be good.  The shots are actually for 3 years with the daily drugs taken for 5 years.  Her oncologist says her results look good and that she feel comfortable in resuming many of her regular habits and live life.  of course my wife’s first question….”Can I have wine?”  I laughed, and the doctor, recognizing the humor said, “Moderation is good.  Just make sure you make it worth your while.”  In other words, don’t waste it on Two Buck Chuck (Charles Shaw, a $2 wine sold at Trader Joes).

Yes my wife is inspired by life in general at the moment and there is nothing more inspiring than to be around someone who really knows how to enjoy life.  They shine, they don’t sweat the little things, they somehow don’t get distracted by the bad things, and they are always looking out for others who seem to be stuck.  When you surround yourself with people who are living in the moment it can be magical.  For the past few weeks I feel as though I’ve been walking around constantly with a light bulb over my head.  My own energy is high and my pain is low.  My exercise regimen that started just before her diagnosis is now at an all time high and each night my wife inspires me to keep running.  The sun is definitely shining on her and within her.  I’ll just soak in her rays and feel her warmth.