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Tag Archives: Inspiration

2013 – The Year of Faith, Dreams & Desire

31 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Sports & Life

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cancer, desire, dreaming, Inspiration, motivation

Rudy“You must take action to reach the thing you desire” – Rudy Ruettiger

Okay its 2013 and I had better make my first blog entry before the first month is over.  As usual the year has begun with a furious pace.  Annually I attend the Affiliate Summit, a marketing convention primarily for online entrepreneurs.  More importantly the 4 day venture to Las Vegas is filled with pats on the back for a job well done and celebrating with friends.  For me I use it to catch up but to start executing the plan for the coming year.  I also use it to find inspiration.  Inspiration for work and for life.  The convention has had a great track record for me when it comes to inspiration and motivation.  Last year there was Eric Thomas, the hip hop preacher who found inspiration and desire to motivate others to stand up and make a difference.  This year it was Rudy Ruettiger, the real life story of a nobody with a dream, a lot of heart, and a strong belief in himself.  These Rocky-esque stories remind me of my own dreams, my own desires, and my own passions.  Don’t give up on them, don’t forget them, and finally don’t forget to act on them when you have the chance.  Although I had seen the movie version of Rudy’s story many times, I was still moved.  Some might think it cornball, but he is where he is and we were paying to listen to him.  Afterwards I told Rudy thanks for reminding us all to dream.  He grabbed my hand and said, “ Dream BIG, but more importantly dreams can’t come true if you don’t do something to make them happen”.

SONY DSCWell it has been a couple weeks and my promise to keep writing has been nagging at me.  I have all this content and haven’t made the time and effort to start putting the fingers to the keypad.  Part of it is my work which has been so overwhelming that 5 hours of sleep each night almost seems like too much.  Things have to change and I will need to set some time aside, find personal inspiration, and make it work.

So here I am on a plane from Seattle to San Francisco with a crying baby screaming in my ear over my ipod as I am writing my first entry of the year.  Why now?  Why not work on a work plan that I need for work?  Well as I sat in the airport with my colleague at the airport for a dinner, I found myself seated to another inspirational figure in my life, Dave Dravecky.  Here is a guy who had a great gift, a God-given gift, and then it was taken away from him by cancer.  My son never saw the left-handed pitcher of the San Francisco pitch before he lost his arm, but I’ve told him the story of that day I watched Dave’s arm snap as he threw his last pitch ever.  My son is a left-handed pitcher in San Francisco’s little league and despite having about 50 bobbleheads on his shelf, the one that sits right there on his desk is Dave Dravecky’s.  As he cradled his iphone in his right hand talking to his grandchild his wife glanced over at me and I we started talking and I told her how I thought she was married to a great man.  Today Dave is employed by the San Francisco Giants marketing team and was in Seattle to help give the Hutch Award from the Hutchinson Cancer Research Center to Barry Zito for his year where he “exemplified fighting spirit and competitive desire”.

dave_cardThe Giants organization is a leader in online sports and community marketing and their work with Dave and the community is such a great example of people who have gone beyond their excellence on the field and used it as a platform for making the world a better place.  Dave got off the phone and reached over to shake my hand and talked to my colleague.  I told Dave how much he has touched people and in different ways.  When my wife was recovering from Breast Cancer, I told her Dave’s story.  Dave has never used his loss of his arm as an excuse.  He has never sounded bitter in public about the bump in the road life gave him.  He has said it is an opportunity and a message to everyone to have faith.

Dave was also a past winner of the Hutch Award.

Dreams. Faith. Action.  And this is how my story begins in 2013.

P.S. 80 minutes into this flight and the kid is still screaming up a storm.

Inspire to be Inspired – Breast Cancer stories

26 Monday Sep 2011

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Leaving your heart

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breast cancer, cancer, charity, Inspiration, komen, komensf, race for the cure, san Francisco, survivors

This morning my family participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for breast cancer.  I have to admit that having dedicated my runs to breast cancer research over the last 3 years, I wasn’t necessarily excited about running with my family as part of the team put together by the schoolthat our kids attend.  I like running alone with my thoughts, but this run is for a good cause and breast cancer runs are an event that I encourage everyone to experience.

Each year I forget what a scene it is.  Survivors of breast cancer are given special shirts that help them stand out.    As my kids and I picked up our regular shirts we saw my wife go to the “Survivors” tent to pick up her shirt.  The hug she was given by the volunteer and the clapping that people gave her hit me.  It reminded me how serious this all is and how lucky we are.  Everywhere, teams lined up for their group photo.  That is where you saw the numbers.  We counted 5 in the Bank of America group, 6 in the Oracle group, 3 in our school’s group.  Another 4 in the Pottery Barn group.  The numbers were there.  1 in 8 people there had survived cancer.

My son and I ran the 5K race leaving my wife and another mom survivor after she told us to run ahead.  As we ran past a survivor or one passed us the cheering got loud.  We completed the race and waited at the finish line for my wife.  It is such a rare race.  People wait by the finish line more than any other race and cheer each other on.  Most runners leave, but no at this race.  As you see that special pink shirt that says “Survivor”, you see their fist pump, the tears and the smiles on their face and you cheer and clap until your hands hurt.  And then for me I see my wife running across the line holding my daughters ahdna and her friend’s hand up high and smiling.  My son put his arm around my waist.  We let everyone else cheer.  It made me proud and inspired as a participant. Sounds weird, but that’s how I felt.  In a way, I felt bad that I had almost not wanted to participate for my own selfish reasons.

Pink Balloon arch by the Ferry building start line

Yes I was inspired by my wife as well as the hundreds of other survivors who crossed the finish line today.  But more importantly I was inspired by the outpouring of community that I saw as people encouraged complete strangers and urged them on.  One lady said , “This race is nothing.  I kicked cancer’s butt” as  local reporter approached her as she crossed the finish line.  The power of encouragement drove them.  My wife said the outpouring of encouragement every step of the way wouldn’t let her stop.

Probably the best part of the Komen Race For the Cure is the celebration at the end where survivors walk one by one through arches of pink flowers  and are serenaded with a round of applause from all participants.   As each individual survivor emerges, the roar is amazing and you can almost see their stories.  There were women in their 80s.  There was a young teenage girl.  There were women of all ethnicities.  As woman after woman emerges, there is the build up of emotion and you wonder if it will ever end.
Then everyone breaks out and sings “I will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor (?).  To me the song is wrong.  I think they should be playing Eye of the Tiger BY Survivor.  These women are not survivors.  They are tough fighters.  Just like Rocky.  They inspire us to run and never ever give up because we know where we came from.

10 Year Reflection

19 Monday Sep 2011

Posted by route53 in Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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9/11, Inspiration, Never forget

New York Skyline as I think of it

It took me a week to just write this as I felt too overwhelmed to write this last week.  I started writing and then had to call the family of a friend who passed 10 years ago in the New York tragedy.  I was thinking of scrapping this post, but just needed to write it down for my own sake.  It is my own therapy even if it doesn’t make sense.

======

September 11, 2001 will always be a day that those of us currently over the age of 20 will remember.  We will remember where we were, we will remember those who lost their lives, those who knew people who lost their lives, and then those who subsequently lost their lives to fight for the freedom we have created in America.

Although I was affected and have thoughts about each of those classmates, neighbors and relatives who are now gone, I worry more about the future.  The one where my child will never really know what that skyline looked like in real life before 9/11.  The one where my child won’t feel that ultimate level of safety from those who do not like the way we live and could care less about who your are. The one where our society was starting not to feel so ill-willed and more tolerant towards people of other beliefs.

A picture taken 20 May 1986 in New York

My son’s birthday is 9/11 and I hope it just becomes a normal day.  He still calls it the Fireman Birthday although this year we did sit him down to watch documentaries of that fateful day.  One thing that really bothered me is the legacy we are leaving our children. I posted these photos here because I don’t want the twin towers to be remembered in smoke or crumbling in a video, or seeing a plane run into them.  As this is his birthday, he needs to know the importance of the date and to be proud to call it his birthday.  I did show him some fun stuff though too.  There was the video I took of when I lived in New Jersey and commuted through the World Trade Center every day.  It was a crazy mad rush every morning and it was such a weird feeling to see the WTC as it looked back in the early 90s.  There were photos from when I lived above the Holland Tunnel in Newport City in Jersey City on the 32 floor.  The WTC was right there and dominated the skyline.  Whenever I go back I still feel like I see those twin towers there.

New York is regaining its stride.  It is puffing out its chest.  It will be stornger than ever, but that scar will always exist.  It will be a reminder of what we lost so that we could move ahead.  For me it is just a reminder to do better.  Do more.  Don’t forget what is important in life and to enjoy it.  It could be gone tomorrow.  For me, 9/11 will serve as a reminder to Never Forget what is important, not just to Never Forget what happened on that day 10 years ago.

 

Finding Inspiration

05 Saturday Mar 2011

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

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Inspiration, parenting

Mountains are the means, the man is the end.  The goal is not to reach the tops of the mountains, but to improve the man.

– Walter Bonatti, Italian mounaineer

I’m one of those people who is always taken by inspirational movies, especially if they are true.  They really help me dream and look for solutions in life.  Having been in the online retail business though, I am not tainted by the fact that I know many movies take their liberties  with the truth, whether they are “The Blind Side” or “Rudy” or “61”.  Like most, I am one of those people who usually tells you to read the book first.  The books are always better, right?  Movies always leave out the details and don’t capture the true emotion.  Not the emotion of the writer, but the emotion you feel from interpreting the words as your eyes meet them.

In this modern day where social media allows us access to more of these stories, I find myself these days inspired by the stories of two fellow alums of Carnegie Mellon.  I was lucky enough as an undergraduate to have met Randy Pausch when he was a graduate student at Carnegie Mellon and shared a carpool over Thanksgiving from Pittsburgh to Baltimore.  His well documented You Tube video, called the Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams became a hit and inspired many who faced death with a sense of calm, respect and fortitude to keep on teaching and giving back.  He also gave inspiration to living life to the fullest.  In fact there was no need for a movie as the video captured the leacture and was all that was needed.

More recently, I picked up the book, 127 Hours: Between A Rock and A Hard Place.  It is actually a little hard to imagine this scenario if you’ve never been there.  I saw the original documentary many years ago on Dateline with Tom Brokaw which I recommend you all watch before seeing the movie or reading the book.  It will help you with the perspective.  I’ve inserted Part 1 here.

The amazing parts are the actual video re-count that he captures where he makes comments and last testaments in expectation that he will not be able to live to tell us family and friends that he loves them. 

I’m about one third of the way through the book and I thought I’d review the Dateline interview again this morning.  I’m always looking to inspire my son who at age 11 still is learning to dream and think big.  For the first time I saw him riveted and inspired not by the crazy outrageous voyage that led the main character to his predicament, but by his will to succeed, to remain calm and cool under extreme pressure and to show a strong will to find one’s passion. 

I’m ready to go out today and succeed.  In the book, Aron Ralston talks about his richness in life that he appreciates.  I intend to go out there and do that today and look forward to finding tomorrow’s inspiration

That Extra Degree

19 Friday Jun 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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cancer, extra degree, golf, Inspiration, Nike

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; because there is not EFFORT without error and shortcomings; but he who does actually strive to accomplish the deed, who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who are the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.  So that his place shall never be with those timid and uncaring souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”  – Theodore Roosevelt

 

1 More Degree of Effort Makes the Difference

1 More Degree of Effort Makes the Difference

  Looking at the difference between 211 degrees (hot water) and 212 degrees (steam and power and effective energy), it motivates by urging us to keep going even when things are difficult.  One of my favorite comedy routines by Jerry Seinfeld is the one where he talks about the difference between a gold and bronze medal in the 100 meter dash or the 50  meter freestyle.  It’s that extra little effort.  Some of it is training.  Some of it is desire.  Its just that little extra that pushes you over the top.  One of my favorite books growing up was “The Little Engine that Could.  You know the one “where he says “I think I can until he says “I Know I Can”.  I was talking with my kids this morning as they watched a show on Earth and global warming (its amazing what they see these days compared to the Mr. Rogers and Electric Company shows I watched at their ages).  They asked me about how it was going to affect them when they are my age.  I sipped my coffee and tried to tell them to enjoy life but to respect the planet they live on.  I didn’t want to alarm them.  As I spoke they spoke about how an extra degree in temperature affects plant life, sea life, etc.  It was pretty dramatic.

I tried to get them off the subject as I read the sports page.  There was a great article about Phil Mickelson and how he is having to fight his emotions as well as to find peace in his life while being on stage at the US Open in NYC while his wife is back in California awaiting breast cancer surgery.  It was only a year ago that I was at a conference in Boston waiting while my wife was also back in California awaiting what likely is the same surgery the Mickelson’s will be dealing with.  While there is nothing they can do but wait, they have to try and live their lives as normally as they can  for their kids and their sanity.  In a way, going off to play in a golf tournament is probably a good lesson for their children abou how life goes on and to show them that you have to live before you paralyze yourself.  Having lived that wait I can only imagine what they are going through as they don’t have the privacy that many people have.  I can see Phil lining up a big putt only to see women in pink hats and pink ribbons following him in the gallery.  I could never have done that at work!  In the article, Phil Mickelson says that he is giving his EVERYTHING this week.  I sure hope he just gives it that extra degree, and creates the feel good story of the year, but his odds are long and only because he is human.  Here is the article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/06/18/SPDP189376.DTL

Alas Phil’s story was delayed today because of rains in the East.

  Speaking of Earth, heat and rain, I should probably finish and talk about Wind.  Tonight I inched toward the 500 mile mark in runnning for the year.  Today had been a sunny day but as it goes in San Francisco, the ocean breezes took their place and by the time I ran tonight, it was pretty blustery.  I took off into the wind as I ran a mile and a half towards the ocean.  The cool breeze felt good against my sunburn I picked up this weekend.  Once I reached the beach I turned and went three miles halfway back across the City with a stiff breeze pushing at my back.  They say the first and last miles are always the hardest parts of a run, but when I turned back into the ocean breezed for my final mile home, my pace picked up again.

  I was interested to see my stats once I uploaded my run data from my Nike ipod.  And there it was.  My runs into the wind tonight were faster than my speed with the wind.  It appears that with Wind resistence to fight, I found that I gave it that extra degree to knife through it.  Maybe the path of least resistence isn’t the best one.  We all need motivation.  And sometimes a little hurdle or an obstacle can create the opportunity to focus and be the best we can be.  When the wind was at my back, I was simply coasting.

Maybe that is the lesson for the day.  Don’t avoid your obstacles and fears, but rather use them to propel you to new heights.

Finding Daily Inspiration: 6 Months Post-Surgery

01 Wednesday Apr 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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cancer recovery, exercise, Inspiration, running, scars, tamoxifin

“If the sun is not shining on you, may it be shining in you.” – Dean Karnazes, Ultra-Marathoner

I’ve been asked by many how my wife is doing physically after her latest procedure and why I don’t discuss it more here.  Well fortunately my wife is doing well such that we don’t have to discuss her battle every day. While someone suggested I actually keep a cancer blog and a non-cancer blog, I just don’t have the time.  This blog is about my life.  Its work. Its family. Its my thoughts all in one place.  For anyone who reads this and puts their foot in my shoes, they’ll likely be touched by the same family, work and health issues at some point in their lives.  For me it is about finding others like me.  Some might be in exactly in the place I am or might have been where I am in the past and help me get through some of life’s issues.

So the answer is: My wife is fine and back at almost normal activity levels although she can’t exercise full on for a few more weeks.  She still has some sutures that we don’t want to pop out like they did last time.  It is important that the sutures are allowed to heal naturally so that the scars will heal properly.

It has been a little over 6 months since her cancer surgery and it feels like so long ago. It has also been 3 months from the follow up procedure to complete her recovery and those physical scars while fading and healing well do not compare to the mental healing she has done.  I have primarily focused on my wife’s mental well-being because I think it is just as important as her physical healing and in many ways I think helps a person to recover.

In fact, her mother always used to say that she knew my wife was feeling better when she started yapping away.  Tonight my wife was yapping away about all the plans she had for the next couple of weeks.  Of course my telling her to slow down only turned into a mini-discussion in which I told my wife I was so proud of her comeback and the fact that she wanted to relieve me of my worries about her as well as her wanting to show me how she has learned to embrace life more than ever.  Holding back a couple weeks should not preclude her from anything that life has left in store for her.  It’s like keeping a stallion in the starting gates before a big race!

As I’ve said in the past, my wife is my current inspiration and like everyone I look for different kinds of inspiration physically and mentally all the time. Why is that?  I just think that some points of inspiration lose their effectiveness after repetitive use.  Sometimes its a song, its a person, its a story, but for me I am constantly in search of a new idea or passion to get me through that next high in life.  My wife is learning the same.

She is now in her fourth month of her 36 month trial of monthly shots.  I laughed and told her it is like making 36 monthly payments on a car.  She gave me a wry smile.  Sometimes my analogies make her just cringe.  The good news this week is that she got the reports back that she is metabolizing the Tamoxifin very well which means that the drug is taking effect and hopefully the results will be good.  The shots are actually for 3 years with the daily drugs taken for 5 years.  Her oncologist says her results look good and that she feel comfortable in resuming many of her regular habits and live life.  of course my wife’s first question….”Can I have wine?”  I laughed, and the doctor, recognizing the humor said, “Moderation is good.  Just make sure you make it worth your while.”  In other words, don’t waste it on Two Buck Chuck (Charles Shaw, a $2 wine sold at Trader Joes).

Yes my wife is inspired by life in general at the moment and there is nothing more inspiring than to be around someone who really knows how to enjoy life.  They shine, they don’t sweat the little things, they somehow don’t get distracted by the bad things, and they are always looking out for others who seem to be stuck.  When you surround yourself with people who are living in the moment it can be magical.  For the past few weeks I feel as though I’ve been walking around constantly with a light bulb over my head.  My own energy is high and my pain is low.  My exercise regimen that started just before her diagnosis is now at an all time high and each night my wife inspires me to keep running.  The sun is definitely shining on her and within her.  I’ll just soak in her rays and feel her warmth.

This Time’s A Charm Interview & Book Review

28 Saturday Feb 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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book, cancer, donald, Inspiration, review, survivor, this time's a charm, wilhelm

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to go now!”  – Kenny Chesney 
This Times A Charm by Donald Wilhelm

This Time's A Charm by Donald Wilhelm

Well I have the honor of being the last stop on Donald Wilhelm’s “This Time’s A Charm” blog book tour.  Before getting into my interview with  Donald below, I have to say that I wasn’t sure about reading another cancer book even if he had survived Hodgkins Lymphoma 4 times. Having lost a college roommate to cancer, watching my mom, cousins, aunts and most recently my own wife deal with breast cancer, another book on cancer just didn’t really appeal to me. I’d done a lot of research on my wife’s behalf to help her through her battle against breast cancer this past year and we are just beginning to get our post-cancer lives back.  But such as life we find inspiration in all kinds of places from all kinds of people and all kinds of actions.www.thistimesacharm.com or click here to go directly to the Amazon.com purchase page.  I have personally purchased an additional copy for a friend and fellow parent who is similarly diagnosed to Donald.  If you haven’t read the previous blog tour entries, follow this schedule:

I found Donald’s book to be inspiring, insightful, honest, and just relevant to what I needed. In life I always look for inspiration to help myself and others, and for my mother and wife when they battled breast cancer I always pointed to Lance Armstrong and his mental toughness.  There are other celebrity examples out there like Christina Applegate, Sheryl Crow and Patrick Swayze, but Donald’s story hit me not only as a good story about cancer, but a story about life.  You see, although it helps, I don’t think you need to be someone touched by cancer to get something out of Donald’s book.  Donald’s story doesn’t glamorize anything about his battle and survival which makes it more real and something that anyone touched by cancer or going through troubled times can relate to.  Donald takes us through the cold reality of each one of his treatments and surgeries and provides a non-clinical view of what the patient goes through emotionally and physically.  Better yet, what Donald does is=2 0typical of his personality.  He doesn’t question things without giving his own opinion or answer.  He always has his own solution for coping with what a cancer patient will go through.

If you are a Carpe Diem person, someone who believes in the power of positive thinking, or just finds inspiration in real life stories that give you that extra push to remind you about how much you need to respect life and all that surrounds you, then this book is one that I recommend.

I happened to finish this book as I took my wife for a Valentine’s Day in Las Vegas to see Elton John. For me this was my way of saying to my wife that we should get moving with life and start trying to put cancer behind us.  It was my wife’s first trip, time away from our kids and time to think of her own pleasure and happiness.  As I hit the end of the book and took in it’s messages as our plane descended into Vegas, I found myself nudging my wife and having her read passage after passage.  I saw her smiling, nodding and crying as she read each page.  She got it.  It was time to start living her life

I’m not going to give away the key messages of the book because everyone will take something different from it, but I have some questions for Donald in an interview that will hopefully give you some insight to parts of the book that I really related to the most (especially as a caregiver).

Route53: Donald, let me just s ay that your story is inspiring on some many levels.  Even without the message of surviving cancer 4 times I would have found your book inspiring.  As a caregiver my first thought was to read who you dedicated the book to: Your wife Amy, friends, family and doctor.  As I hit the end of the first page I had to recheck my facts.  It talks about your wife Sara (not Amy).  It always saddens me to read about a spouse who leave s their loved one at a time of need (What the heck happedned to “in sickness and in health”?).  As I read about your separation and other parts of your life I seemed to notice you let people leave your life fairly easily.  Is this just the way you wrote the book to not dwell on those matters?  Were you not wanting to drag loved ones into your cancer world?

DW: Well, I spent a lot of time while I was isolated with the disease and really took the time to evaluate some of my “friendships” at the time.  There’s nothing like a life-threatening disease to help you quickly sift through true friends from the others.  What I found was that most of the people I had been spending time with seem to be “takers” and I was always the one that had to be “giving.”  I came to realize how draining that had been on me and I knew it couldn’t not continue, nor should it.  Life is short.  I now choose to spend my time with positive-natured people who only add to my life and don’t detract
from it.

Route53: Although you have fought a strong battle on your own, for me there are three major people who were the core of your battle.  In your book, you touch on surrounding yourself with the right people so I would like to focus on these caregivers.  Let’s first talk about your choice of  Dr. Jeff.  In the book you talk about how you chose him.  What further insight can you tell us about Dr. Jeff that you found was fitting for you, not just as a doctor, but as a person.  Tell us about your relationship with Dr. Jeff today.

DW:  Dr. Jeff is simply awesome.  He’s very down-to-Earth, yet he is an excellent doctor who’s always up on the latest studies and research.  I frankly have no idea how he has enough time in any given day to do what he does.  Today, our relationship is as strong as possible.  He respects me as a patient who runs his own healthcare team and I respect him as
the quarterback, counting on him to think out-of-the-box at times and run an audible if necessary.

Route53: My favorite person in your book is your cousin Dave, a totally selfless person (although I laughed at the halfway house he created for people and pets).  Give Dave a big high five for me.  He did more for you than most spouses do for their own loved ones who are suffering from cancer.  He just seems to be a guy who puts everyone before himself.  Tell us about Dave and the relationship you have with him.  What makes him special in your mind that allows him to just give all he has to anyone.  Were you two very close before the cancer arrived?

DW: Dave and I were close before my diagnosis.  I always said we were part cousins, part brothers and part best friends.  I can’t tell you what makes him tick, because honestly, most of the time I’m left scratching my head trying to figure him out.  But the one steadfast quality he has, that everyone knows about, is that if you’re in need you can and should count on him.

Route53: Your second wife Amy is obviously a special person to you and helped you with much of the shaping of your life as it is today. My college roommate got married to his highschool sweetheart while he was suffering from cancer as well. If I could have changed one thing about your book, it is that you would have found Amy 5 years earlier.  You talk about how Amy didn’t flinch when you told her about your cancer.  Tell us what it is about her that is different from your first wife and your other relationship that you had during your battle with cancer.  Perhaps Amy knew what she was signing up for in a relationship with you?  Is it that she has dealt with cancer before?  At the same time, what made you ready to let someone new close into your life at that point in time?

DW:  Amy really is an incredible person.  She has a heart of gold and simply loves to help other people.  But the reason that she was able to stand by me, no matter what, is that she truly understands that none of us are guaranteed any amount of time in this life.  Most people say things like, “well, you never know when you’re number will be up.”  But I find that when push comes to shove, these same folks panic and cower in fear of death.  Amy understands death and isn’t overly afraid of it.  That being said, she maintains a healthy zest for life and we live each day to the fullest.  Like Kenny Chesney said, “Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to go now!”  😉

Route53:  We had the same issue as you with the psychiatrist. When my own wife chose to see a psychiatrist before her bilateral mastectomy, I asked if that doctor had gone through cancer and she hadn’t.  At that time I told my wife I didn’t think she needed this woman’s advice.  It was the first appointment I didn’t go to with my wife and she became so anxious after her visit that she had to start taking Ativan again.  I just want you to know that you would make the perfect psychiatrist for cancer patients.  Have you realized that you have become the answer for what you yourself needed?  I noticed on another blog that you are continuing to help with Dr. Jeff’s patients.

DW:  Actually, that’s a great way to put that.  I do, now, know that the answers I need were inside of me all the time.  I have simply learn to ask different questions of myself, thereby making the game of life a bit easier to win.  And why wouldn’t we do it that way?

As for me becoming a therapist, I kinda already view myself as such, but in a very informal manner.  I’m trained by life, and my advice is simple and hard hitting.  In fact, this is the reason that I wrote my book.  So that whomever needed or wanted to fully understand my story, could just pick up a copy and read it at their own pace.  I’ve found most people have been reading it multiple times and gaining more perspectives from it each time.

Route53: Chapter 11 and the catchy title you give it was that rough point in your battle.  In a way I looked at it as an almost necessary evil. My feeling is that everyone hits that point in their recovery.  Maybe not as reckless as you became, but I’m sure there are people who can relate to that chapter in some small way.   Like you I believe in experiential learning.  I’m sure you got something positive out of that time of your life.  Can you share with us what experiences or learnings you got out of that time of your life helped shape your philosphy today? 

DW:  I think the most important lessons I learned from that period of my life was to watch your emotions and actively managed them.  It’s hard for me to really remember that time of my life and what I must have been feeling inside.  I must have been very lonely.  Fortunately now, I know that I’ll never end up in the place again.

Route53:  You ask your readers to read Dr. Phil’s “Self Matters” and Rhonda Walker’s, “The Secret”.  Do you have any other good inspirational books or articles that we should read? Have you be en inspired in your battle?  If so, who has been your inspiration?

DW: I’d definitely recommend Anthony Robbins’ “Now Awaken the Giant Within.”

Route53:  What have you personally gained from writing this book that you didn’t expect or maybe were not quite expecting? 

DW:  Great question Erik.  Well I’d say the biggest surprise is my readers’ responses to it.  I was hopeful that everyone would like the book, but the depth of the feedback I get is overwhelming at times.  My book seems to touch people in a way that really makes a positive and LASTING impact on their lives.  That’s an incredible feeling for me!

 SUMMARY: If you want to purchase This Time’s A Charm, please go to: www.thistimesacharm.com   I have personally purchased an additional copy for a friend and fellow parent who is similarly diagnosed to Donald.  If you haven’t read the previous blog tour entries, follow this schedule:

“This Time’s a Charm” Cancer Blog Book Tour Schedule

2/16/09 www.fightpink.org 
2/17/09 www.cancerbookreview.blogspot.com
2/18/09 www.uniboobclub.blogspot.com
2/19/09 www.moutray.wordpress.com
2/20/09 www.makesomelemondae.com
2/21/09 www.awesomecancersurvivor.com
2/23/09 www.serendipityfactory.com 
2/24/09 www.everythingchangesbook.com
2/25/09 www.cancercornerlive.blogspot.com
2/27/09 www.appendix-cancer.blogspot.com 
2/28/09 www.imtooyoungforthis.org 
03/1/09 www.route53.wordpress.com

This Time's A Charm Interview & Book Review

28 Saturday Feb 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

book, cancer, donald, Inspiration, review, survivor, this time's a charm, wilhelm

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to go now!”  – Kenny Chesney 
This Times A Charm by Donald Wilhelm

This Time's A Charm by Donald Wilhelm

Well I have the honor of being the last stop on Donald Wilhelm’s “This Time’s A Charm” blog book tour.  Before getting into my interview with  Donald below, I have to say that I wasn’t sure about reading another cancer book even if he had survived Hodgkins Lymphoma 4 times. Having lost a college roommate to cancer, watching my mom, cousins, aunts and most recently my own wife deal with breast cancer, another book on cancer just didn’t really appeal to me. I’d done a lot of research on my wife’s behalf to help her through her battle against breast cancer this past year and we are just beginning to get our post-cancer lives back.  But such as life we find inspiration in all kinds of places from all kinds of people and all kinds of actions.www.thistimesacharm.com or click here to go directly to the Amazon.com purchase page.  I have personally purchased an additional copy for a friend and fellow parent who is similarly diagnosed to Donald.  If you haven’t read the previous blog tour entries, follow this schedule:

I found Donald’s book to be inspiring, insightful, honest, and just relevant to what I needed. In life I always look for inspiration to help myself and others, and for my mother and wife when they battled breast cancer I always pointed to Lance Armstrong and his mental toughness.  There are other celebrity examples out there like Christina Applegate, Sheryl Crow and Patrick Swayze, but Donald’s story hit me not only as a good story about cancer, but a story about life.  You see, although it helps, I don’t think you need to be someone touched by cancer to get something out of Donald’s book.  Donald’s story doesn’t glamorize anything about his battle and survival which makes it more real and something that anyone touched by cancer or going through troubled times can relate to.  Donald takes us through the cold reality of each one of his treatments and surgeries and provides a non-clinical view of what the patient goes through emotionally and physically.  Better yet, what Donald does is=2 0typical of his personality.  He doesn’t question things without giving his own opinion or answer.  He always has his own solution for coping with what a cancer patient will go through.

If you are a Carpe Diem person, someone who believes in the power of positive thinking, or just finds inspiration in real life stories that give you that extra push to remind you about how much you need to respect life and all that surrounds you, then this book is one that I recommend.

I happened to finish this book as I took my wife for a Valentine’s Day in Las Vegas to see Elton John. For me this was my way of saying to my wife that we should get moving with life and start trying to put cancer behind us.  It was my wife’s first trip, time away from our kids and time to think of her own pleasure and happiness.  As I hit the end of the book and took in it’s messages as our plane descended into Vegas, I found myself nudging my wife and having her read passage after passage.  I saw her smiling, nodding and crying as she read each page.  She got it.  It was time to start living her life

I’m not going to give away the key messages of the book because everyone will take something different from it, but I have some questions for Donald in an interview that will hopefully give you some insight to parts of the book that I really related to the most (especially as a caregiver).

Route53: Donald, let me just s ay that your story is inspiring on some many levels.  Even without the message of surviving cancer 4 times I would have found your book inspiring.  As a caregiver my first thought was to read who you dedicated the book to: Your wife Amy, friends, family and doctor.  As I hit the end of the first page I had to recheck my facts.  It talks about your wife Sara (not Amy).  It always saddens me to read about a spouse who leave s their loved one at a time of need (What the heck happedned to “in sickness and in health”?).  As I read about your separation and other parts of your life I seemed to notice you let people leave your life fairly easily.  Is this just the way you wrote the book to not dwell on those matters?  Were you not wanting to drag loved ones into your cancer world?

DW: Well, I spent a lot of time while I was isolated with the disease and really took the time to evaluate some of my “friendships” at the time.  There’s nothing like a life-threatening disease to help you quickly sift through true friends from the others.  What I found was that most of the people I had been spending time with seem to be “takers” and I was always the one that had to be “giving.”  I came to realize how draining that had been on me and I knew it couldn’t not continue, nor should it.  Life is short.  I now choose to spend my time with positive-natured people who only add to my life and don’t detract
from it.

Route53: Although you have fought a strong battle on your own, for me there are three major people who were the core of your battle.  In your book, you touch on surrounding yourself with the right people so I would like to focus on these caregivers.  Let’s first talk about your choice of  Dr. Jeff.  In the book you talk about how you chose him.  What further insight can you tell us about Dr. Jeff that you found was fitting for you, not just as a doctor, but as a person.  Tell us about your relationship with Dr. Jeff today.

DW:  Dr. Jeff is simply awesome.  He’s very down-to-Earth, yet he is an excellent doctor who’s always up on the latest studies and research.  I frankly have no idea how he has enough time in any given day to do what he does.  Today, our relationship is as strong as possible.  He respects me as a patient who runs his own healthcare team and I respect him as
the quarterback, counting on him to think out-of-the-box at times and run an audible if necessary.

Route53: My favorite person in your book is your cousin Dave, a totally selfless person (although I laughed at the halfway house he created for people and pets).  Give Dave a big high five for me.  He did more for you than most spouses do for their own loved ones who are suffering from cancer.  He just seems to be a guy who puts everyone before himself.  Tell us about Dave and the relationship you have with him.  What makes him special in your mind that allows him to just give all he has to anyone.  Were you two very close before the cancer arrived?

DW: Dave and I were close before my diagnosis.  I always said we were part cousins, part brothers and part best friends.  I can’t tell you what makes him tick, because honestly, most of the time I’m left scratching my head trying to figure him out.  But the one steadfast quality he has, that everyone knows about, is that if you’re in need you can and should count on him.

Route53: Your second wife Amy is obviously a special person to you and helped you with much of the shaping of your life as it is today. My college roommate got married to his highschool sweetheart while he was suffering from cancer as well. If I could have changed one thing about your book, it is that you would have found Amy 5 years earlier.  You talk about how Amy didn’t flinch when you told her about your cancer.  Tell us what it is about her that is different from your first wife and your other relationship that you had during your battle with cancer.  Perhaps Amy knew what she was signing up for in a relationship with you?  Is it that she has dealt with cancer before?  At the same time, what made you ready to let someone new close into your life at that point in time?

DW:  Amy really is an incredible person.  She has a heart of gold and simply loves to help other people.  But the reason that she was able to stand by me, no matter what, is that she truly understands that none of us are guaranteed any amount of time in this life.  Most people say things like, “well, you never know when you’re number will be up.”  But I find that when push comes to shove, these same folks panic and cower in fear of death.  Amy understands death and isn’t overly afraid of it.  That being said, she maintains a healthy zest for life and we live each day to the fullest.  Like Kenny Chesney said, “Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to go now!”  😉

Route53:  We had the same issue as you with the psychiatrist. When my own wife chose to see a psychiatrist before her bilateral mastectomy, I asked if that doctor had gone through cancer and she hadn’t.  At that time I told my wife I didn’t think she needed this woman’s advice.  It was the first appointment I didn’t go to with my wife and she became so anxious after her visit that she had to start taking Ativan again.  I just want you to know that you would make the perfect psychiatrist for cancer patients.  Have you realized that you have become the answer for what you yourself needed?  I noticed on another blog that you are continuing to help with Dr. Jeff’s patients.

DW:  Actually, that’s a great way to put that.  I do, now, know that the answers I need were inside of me all the time.  I have simply learn to ask different questions of myself, thereby making the game of life a bit easier to win.  And why wouldn’t we do it that way?

As for me becoming a therapist, I kinda already view myself as such, but in a very informal manner.  I’m trained by life, and my advice is simple and hard hitting.  In fact, this is the reason that I wrote my book.  So that whomever needed or wanted to fully understand my story, could just pick up a copy and read it at their own pace.  I’ve found most people have been reading it multiple times and gaining more perspectives from it each time.

Route53: Chapter 11 and the catchy title you give it was that rough point in your battle.  In a way I looked at it as an almost necessary evil. My feeling is that everyone hits that point in their recovery.  Maybe not as reckless as you became, but I’m sure there are people who can relate to that chapter in some small way.   Like you I believe in experiential learning.  I’m sure you got something positive out of that time of your life.  Can you share with us what experiences or learnings you got out of that time of your life helped shape your philosphy today? 

DW:  I think the most important lessons I learned from that period of my life was to watch your emotions and actively managed them.  It’s hard for me to really remember that time of my life and what I must have been feeling inside.  I must have been very lonely.  Fortunately now, I know that I’ll never end up in the place again.

Route53:  You ask your readers to read Dr. Phil’s “Self Matters” and Rhonda Walker’s, “The Secret”.  Do you have any other good inspirational books or articles that we should read? Have you be en inspired in your battle?  If so, who has been your inspiration?

DW: I’d definitely recommend Anthony Robbins’ “Now Awaken the Giant Within.”

Route53:  What have you personally gained from writing this book that you didn’t expect or maybe were not quite expecting? 

DW:  Great question Erik.  Well I’d say the biggest surprise is my readers’ responses to it.  I was hopeful that everyone would like the book, but the depth of the feedback I get is overwhelming at times.  My book seems to touch people in a way that really makes a positive and LASTING impact on their lives.  That’s an incredible feeling for me!

 SUMMARY: If you want to purchase This Time’s A Charm, please go to: www.thistimesacharm.com   I have personally purchased an additional copy for a friend and fellow parent who is similarly diagnosed to Donald.  If you haven’t read the previous blog tour entries, follow this schedule:

“This Time’s a Charm” Cancer Blog Book Tour Schedule

2/16/09 www.fightpink.org 
2/17/09 www.cancerbookreview.blogspot.com
2/18/09 www.uniboobclub.blogspot.com
2/19/09 www.moutray.wordpress.com
2/20/09 www.makesomelemondae.com
2/21/09 www.awesomecancersurvivor.com
2/23/09 www.serendipityfactory.com 
2/24/09 www.everythingchangesbook.com
2/25/09 www.cancercornerlive.blogspot.com
2/27/09 www.appendix-cancer.blogspot.com 
2/28/09 www.imtooyoungforthis.org 
03/1/09 www.route53.wordpress.com

This Time's A Charm Blog Book Tour

19 Thursday Feb 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

book, cancer, chemotherapy, Hodgkins, Inspiration, lymphoma, radiation, surgery

I have just finished a book by Donald Wilhelm called “This Time’s A Charm”.  Its about Donald’s fight to survive cancer 4 times and beat the odds.  To me this is more than a cancer book but a personal philosophy book that I think anyone should read whether you’ve had cancer or not.  I am part of Donald’s blog book tour  (the last stop) and hope you all can follow along:

“This Time’s a Charm” Cancer Blog Book Tour Schedule

2/16/09 www.fightpink.org 
2/17/09 www.cancerbookreview.blogspot.com
2/18/09 www.uniboobclub.blogspot.com
2/19/09 www.moutray.wordpress.com
2/20/09 www.makesomelemondae.com
2/21/09 www.awesomecancersurvivor.com
2/23/09 www.serendipityfactory.com 
2/24/09 www.everythingchangesbook.com
2/25/09 www.cancercornerlive.blogspot.com
2/27/09 www.appendix-cancer.blogspot.com 
2/28/09 www.imtooyoungforthis.org 
03/1/09 www.route53.wordpress.com

I will publish more on my thoughts and feelings as well as ask Donald some questions that will be published on 3/1 right here along with Donald’s answers.

This Time’s A Charm Blog Book Tour

19 Thursday Feb 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

book, cancer, chemotherapy, Hodgkins, Inspiration, lymphoma, radiation, surgery

I have just finished a book by Donald Wilhelm called “This Time’s A Charm”.  Its about Donald’s fight to survive cancer 4 times and beat the odds.  To me this is more than a cancer book but a personal philosophy book that I think anyone should read whether you’ve had cancer or not.  I am part of Donald’s blog book tour  (the last stop) and hope you all can follow along:

“This Time’s a Charm” Cancer Blog Book Tour Schedule

2/16/09 www.fightpink.org 
2/17/09 www.cancerbookreview.blogspot.com
2/18/09 www.uniboobclub.blogspot.com
2/19/09 www.moutray.wordpress.com
2/20/09 www.makesomelemondae.com
2/21/09 www.awesomecancersurvivor.com
2/23/09 www.serendipityfactory.com 
2/24/09 www.everythingchangesbook.com
2/25/09 www.cancercornerlive.blogspot.com
2/27/09 www.appendix-cancer.blogspot.com 
2/28/09 www.imtooyoungforthis.org 
03/1/09 www.route53.wordpress.com

I will publish more on my thoughts and feelings as well as ask Donald some questions that will be published on 3/1 right here along with Donald’s answers.

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