A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories. ~Honoré de Balzac
Today is obviously a more special Mother’s Day than any other for me. Even though I am so happy that I get to celebrate Mother’s Day with my own mother, I am even more grateful that my children get to spend it this year with their mother and for many years to come. Although they probably didn’t the magnitude of how special it was and how we were staring straight into the possibility that this Mother’s Day could have been one without a mom or one with a bit more urgency than we had today, it was not lost on me.
As we got up at 6 am this morning to get breakfast and flowers while their mother slept in, it was nice to spend some time with the kids and ask them what they appreciated about their mother. Here is a lst from a 7 and a 9 year old in no particular order:
- She’s a good cook
- She smells nice
- She drives us wherever we want to go
- She plays games with us
- She let’s us have play dates
- She’s smart
- She’s nice
- She’s pretty
- She let’s me paint my toenails (daughter)
- She helps us with our homework
- She kisses us and tucks us in for bed
They didn’t say it directly, but I knew what they were thinking. They said that it would be sad though for some schoolmates who did lose their mother to breast cancer this year. After they said that, there was silence in the car and when we got back home they each made an additional card for their mother before she woke up. The hugs around the breakfast table seemed more meaningful and sincere that the daily ones and for that I am so appreciative of the moments we still have together.
Last night we had a rare chance for one of our date nights. Dinner and a movie seems so simple but I can’t remember the last time we held hands all movie long. Dinner was filled with pleasant conversation especially over the relief that our son had played a decent baseball game. She had hugged our son, wished him good luck and accidentally told him to get some hits for mommy before his Little League game. As soon as she said that she looked at me with the horror of putting pressure on her son. Fortunately he came through and had a couple of hits on his best day ever in baseball. He was so excited to come home and tell his mother that he got two hits. The smile on his dirt covered face not only made her laugh but was a big relief. Some day he’ll probably tell us it was no big deal, but we were hoping he wouldn’t put any pressure on himself.
Tonight we’ll spend part of another Mother’s Day with my mother. Although the appreciation of still spending that extra time with her had somewhat dissipated each year beyond her battle with cancer, this year it has been renewed. Since my father’s passing she has visibly taken on much of his persona as well. She’s adopted his adventuresome attitude and more than anything become not just a loving mother that she already was, but a thoughtful icon for me and my siblings to come to in times when we aren’t quite sure about what is right or wrong and reminds us of what our father would want us to do. I can see in her latter years that she more than anything wants her children to spend more time together and makes a strong effort to make that happen on a daily basis.
Mother’s Day has become more than that Hallmark Holiday. It is also now a call to awareness to the plight of mothers and their battle with Breast Cancer. I am glad that even baseball has really taken the time to appreciate mothers and use Mother’s Day to bring awareness to Breast Cancer Research. Watching major league baseball players use pink bats and wear pink wristbands tells you that it isn’t just the days of playing catch between a father and son that forms the foundation of future baseball players but also those mothers who drive their sons and daughters from field to field three days a week.
While my wife and daughter celebrated with a spa day, I took my son to play 9 holes of golf and were paired up with a 30ish son and his dad. You never know why people are out at a golf course on Mother’s Day without their moms on Mother’s Day. The two men played in silence, but idle chit chat revelaed that they were native San Franciscans and were all aums of the same high school. As it turns out they had recently lost their mom/wife to breast cancer. It was a tough day for them and they were honoring her memory on this day. My son did not hear the conversation, but it really cast more light on the specialness of the day.
I smile as I look back at this entry because all I’d want for Father’s Day is a nice round of golf myself ….. At the same time, I want to say how much I appreciate all those moms out there for how much they do for their children whther they are 4 or 40. And for those who have lost their moms or have moms or relatives who are sick, please enjoy what you have and savor it.