Tag Archives: breast cancer

Feeling Thankful

28 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Sports & Life

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“When life kicks you, let it kick you forward” – Anonymous Brest Cancer Survivor

Thanksgiving always kicks me and reminds me about how thankful I am that the 2 most important women in my life survived breast cancer and more importantly inspire me every day.

Breast Cancer Awareness month (October) came and went again for my family last month.  Between my mother and wife it is the 9th consecutive year that it has directly hit me (although indirectly through others as well).  Last month was actually the magical 5 year cancerversary for my wife.  It is a fictional celebration point in the timeline for a breast cancer patient.  The chances are high that you’ve kicked the disease if you haven’t had a relapse.  The journey has been so long, we almost forgot it.  In fact when we went for my wife’s quarterly check with her medication, it didn’t even dawn on us.  Cancer is like part of the family.

Going to visit the Diller Cancer Center is an eye opener and a reminder of our journey.  As we walked through the Infusion Area where most people are getting their chemo, you just get grounded when you see all the drawn and tired faces.  If I have to say one thing, if you ever have the chance to keep a friend or relative company when getting their infusion, please do.  It is the hardest and loneliest part and no matter what they say, having you there is only a plus.  I can only recall a handful husbands or dads ever sitting there with the woman getting her infusion in all the times I’ve been there.  When I talk to other husbands, I always tell them to be there 3 times as much as you ever have been.  You will never have that chance to show your love and how thankful you are for their being a part of your life.  When life gives you hurdles, you just need to jump higher!

After the visit last month, I told my wife that sometimes I feel guilty that we’ve put the cancer behind us.  She admitted she felt guilty for not celebrating the 5 year milestone.  I told her maybe we haven’t forgotten but choose to push forward.  That day we saw Dr. Deb Cohan.  Deb chose to have the same surgery as my wife.  They both are daughters of 2-time breast cancer survivors and thus were very pragmatic about their situations.

The video above is of Deb holding a little flash mob before her surgery at the Center. Ironically for me it is the first time I’d seen the exact surgery room where my wife had her surgery. What spirit.  We all fight through our fears and challenges in different ways.  Deb got some flack for her celebration, but I think she chose to show her spirit externally to let people know what kind of fight she needed to put up.  It is a great reminder to me of the fight and spirit my mother and wife have shown and continue to show me and my children every day.

Life is a battle no matter how you look at it.  Approach it with zest and spirit even when facing your biggest fears.

Surgery #5 – Cleaning it up & The Future

12 Thursday Jan 2012

Posted by in Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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UCSF Medical Center

UCSF Medical Center

It has been almost 2 and a half years since my wife’s last surgery in her battle with breast cancer.  I want to say that it has been almost 28 hours of surgery and probably another 10 of recovery room waiting that I have spent in this waiting room.  Today is just a clean up surgery for removal of scar tissue and hopefully that is all.  They will also possibly scrape for any residual tissue for genetic testing.

The past couple of months have been a bit trying as my wife found out that her younger brother also has breast cancer.  Although rare, this is just so indicative of the fact that there is some genetic mutation that is being passed along.  Their mother had breast cancer and as it turns out their father’s uncle had breast cancer.  There is definitely a trend here.  The fact that my own mother had breast cancer is very worrisome for our children.  While we don’t want to worry our children, we have to balance the education vs. information on which we provide them.

I still remember 3 and a half years ago dropping off my 5 year old daughter and 8 year old son to school, not telling them what was going on with their mom.  They were too young and as a parent the smiles on their faces are always a great healing medicine that eases the pain.  When I did tell them their mom had surgery I had to make sure to hold back the tears because I didn’t want them to worry.  Of course the kids could sense it.  Today they are the most sympathetic kids to breast cancer. They console their friends when their moms find they have breast cancer and they are quick to volunteer for any benefit to the cause.

Now almost 10 and 12, there are no secrets (well just Santa for the younger one).  We told them last night that mom would be going to have another procedure early in the morning and that we wouldn’t be home when they woke.  We told them to make their own breakfast and I’d be back to take them to school once mom was wheeled in to surgery. “So you’re just confirming our logistics for the morning,” my 12 year old said.  It was such a clinical thing to say.  My way and I just nodded our heads.

My wife and I weren’t worried about the surgery this morning as we drove in to the hospital.  It was still about making sure we had the pick up schedule settled and the odd conversation we had with our son the night before. It felt weird to leave my wife even to pick up my kids. Once we checked her in and the anastheseologist did her work, I raced home.  When I got home they were in their school uniforms reading the Kindle and newspaper as if the morning was just like any other.  I was thinking they were de-sensitized until my son, put his hand on my shoulder as I drank my coffee.  He was teared up, “She’s going to be okay, right?”  My daughter was crying too.  They had been putting on a strong face for their mom.  I told them not to worry and this would be easier than all the other surgeries and that she’d be home when they got back from school.  I looked at my son.  He had grown up a lot in the last several years.  He was wearing his dress uniform for a Thursday mass.  I smiled….”nice Windsor knot”.  It was the first time my son had tied his tie all by himself without it being lopsided.

<just got word from the doctor that surgery went fine and she’ll be in recovery for another hour>

The next step is to not just continue to personally fight this battle with breast cancer, but to also help wtih the research.  Our family has been hit hard specifically with breast cancer and survived.  Our goal is to help future generations and others who might be dealing with the same issue.  Is it genetic, environmental or both?

One thing is for sure.  No matter how much we try to put breast cancer behind us, thi will not be the last of it in our lives.  It will be there again.  Hopefully by the next time we have to fight this disease, we will have achieved greater advancements in detection and treatments to prevent us from the suffering we’ve incurred to date.

Inspire to be Inspired – Breast Cancer stories

26 Monday Sep 2011

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Leaving your heart

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This morning my family participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for breast cancer.  I have to admit that having dedicated my runs to breast cancer research over the last 3 years, I wasn’t necessarily excited about running with my family as part of the team put together by the schoolthat our kids attend.  I like running alone with my thoughts, but this run is for a good cause and breast cancer runs are an event that I encourage everyone to experience.

Each year I forget what a scene it is.  Survivors of breast cancer are given special shirts that help them stand out.    As my kids and I picked up our regular shirts we saw my wife go to the “Survivors” tent to pick up her shirt.  The hug she was given by the volunteer and the clapping that people gave her hit me.  It reminded me how serious this all is and how lucky we are.  Everywhere, teams lined up for their group photo.  That is where you saw the numbers.  We counted 5 in the Bank of America group, 6 in the Oracle group, 3 in our school’s group.  Another 4 in the Pottery Barn group.  The numbers were there.  1 in 8 people there had survived cancer.

My son and I ran the 5K race leaving my wife and another mom survivor after she told us to run ahead.  As we ran past a survivor or one passed us the cheering got loud.  We completed the race and waited at the finish line for my wife.  It is such a rare race.  People wait by the finish line more than any other race and cheer each other on.  Most runners leave, but no at this race.  As you see that special pink shirt that says “Survivor”, you see their fist pump, the tears and the smiles on their face and you cheer and clap until your hands hurt.  And then for me I see my wife running across the line holding my daughters ahdna and her friend’s hand up high and smiling.  My son put his arm around my waist.  We let everyone else cheer.  It made me proud and inspired as a participant. Sounds weird, but that’s how I felt.  In a way, I felt bad that I had almost not wanted to participate for my own selfish reasons.

Pink Balloon arch by the Ferry building start line

Yes I was inspired by my wife as well as the hundreds of other survivors who crossed the finish line today.  But more importantly I was inspired by the outpouring of community that I saw as people encouraged complete strangers and urged them on.  One lady said , “This race is nothing.  I kicked cancer’s butt” as  local reporter approached her as she crossed the finish line.  The power of encouragement drove them.  My wife said the outpouring of encouragement every step of the way wouldn’t let her stop.

Probably the best part of the Komen Race For the Cure is the celebration at the end where survivors walk one by one through arches of pink flowers  and are serenaded with a round of applause from all participants.   As each individual survivor emerges, the roar is amazing and you can almost see their stories.  There were women in their 80s.  There was a young teenage girl.  There were women of all ethnicities.  As woman after woman emerges, there is the build up of emotion and you wonder if it will ever end.
Then everyone breaks out and sings “I will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor (?).  To me the song is wrong.  I think they should be playing Eye of the Tiger BY Survivor.  These women are not survivors.  They are tough fighters.  Just like Rocky.  They inspire us to run and never ever give up because we know where we came from.

3 Years Later – Still Standing

09 Friday Sep 2011

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“Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did.  Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid”  – Elton John

It has been three years since my wife’s cancer surgery.  We haven’t even talked about it being an anniversary of that day.  I know she has been begging her oncologist to be removed from some of the test medications she has been taking.  Maybe 3 years has been enough.  Well today is a milestone.  Probably a milestone my wife would rather forget than celebrate, yet one to set as a marker along the side of the road of life.  I for one still remember that day like it was yesterday.  Reading that blog entry again seems so surreal.

3 years.  Since then it has been:

  • 3 more surgeries.
  • Taking 4 huge  pills daily. Although she can tell you, I don’t know if I can tell you what they are for.  One is to fight the reoccurrence of cancer, another is for the side  effects and another is to balance out the side effects is all I know.
  • Additionally there is that monthly shot that leaves her belly black and blue for a week
  • Then there is the 3 times a week physical therapy.  That knife thing scares me.  It is supposed to smooth out the skin and prevent the build up of scar tissue, but it is just ridiculous,
  • There is the monthly counseling with the oncologist and staff, and
  • There is the monthly meeting to go over the test results of her medications.

Despite being a daily voluntary lab rat the last several years to help studies for future victims of cancer, my wife has really embraced life more than ever and it has changed her.  Her strength and her courage are beyond what I ever imagined she had in her.  Those changes in her life mentioned above might be considered inconveniences to many of us, but she takes it all in stride to the point where she forgets to tell me that she had an appointment until the day is over and to say that the oncologist told her to say hi to me.

They say that you aren’t truly in remission until you pass the five year mark, but my wife is already a Survivor.  More than that, she is a Winner.

35 Months Later – Living with Cancer

01 Friday Jul 2011

Posted by in Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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Breast Cancer Logo

Raise breast sawareness

35 months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. It seemes so long ago but time really flew The care we received from the UCSF Breast Cancer Clinic was unparallelled. This week I came across an article covering the head of the clinic and thought I’d share it with all of you:

by Julian Guthrie for the San Francisco Chronicle:
Surgeon Laura Esserman, head of breast cancer research and treatment at UCSF, has favorite songs she sings to patients as they’re about to go under a general anesthetic. There’s “Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing,” and her all-time favorite, “For Good.”

One of her greatest areas of impact may come through a statewide research project called Athena, which she has spearheaded and will involve the early screening and follow-up for breast cancer of 150,000 women statewide at five UC cancer centers. The University of California initiative has just begun to enroll patients at UCSF.

Q: What are you excited about right now in the cancer field?

A: We started enrolling patients at two of our five centers, with others starting to enroll in July. We have also started doing a comprehensive risk assessment for every woman who comes in for screenings. We are looking at prevention as part of primary care. We are at the beginning of the road in making breast cancer prevention like heart disease prevention. We want to build a new model.

Q: What is the latest recommendation in terms of mammography?

A: If you are under 50, you need to sit down with your provider and ask for your level of risk. What is my breast density? Should I get screened or not screened? If your risk is high, yes, get screened. But again, I think screening has the most significant benefit for women between the ages of 50 and 70.

Q: What are the most important lifestyle changes people can make for breast cancer prevention?

A: If you are postmenopausal and you are overweight, you will have higher levels of estrogen. Through diet and exercise, you can bring that down, which is good for everything, including a sense of well-being. We try to get women to stick to no more than three to four glasses of wine a week, as alcohol is an associated risk factor for breast cancer.

Q: Have you developed a thick skin in delivering the news to women and men that they have breast cancer?

A: I don’t have a thick skin. You can’t. The good news is that there are some people for whom cancer is not that significant, where you can really reassure the person. Of course, it’s very hard if you know someone is in a really bad situation. I face it with them. You can’t just sit back and say this is an academic exercise. This is something that affects their lives – that determines whether their children will grow up and know them.

Q: Where did you grow up, and what did you want to be?

A: I was born in Chicago, and when I was 9 my family moved to Miami. I always wanted either to be a cancer researcher or cancer doctor.

Q: What was your awakening to cancer?

A: Hmm. I read a biography of Madame Curie. I thought what she did was cool.

Q: Where do you live in the city and where are your favorite hangouts?

A: Ashbury Heights. I love to work my way through the Top 100 restaurant list. My son and I were working our way through the cheap eats list.

Q: Secret talents?

A: I love to barbecue anything.

Q: How does working in the midst of cancer, when life becomes more precious, affect you?

A: You never know what’s in store for you. You have to live life to the fullest. I have a great sense of urgency. We need more answers and solutions.

Q: If you weren’t working as a pioneer in the breast cancer field, what would you be doing?

A: Trying to improve the education system. When I cure cancer, I’ll start working on that.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/22/DDS81JRVIS.DTL#ixzz1QpkKfK4H

The Graston Technique – Breast Cancer Rehabilitation

06 Thursday Jan 2011

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

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Graston Instruments

We often think about the recovery from breast cancer and most often hear about surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.  My wife is now 2 years past her surgery.  It is easy to look at the rehabilitation and the treatment as trivial but it is a battle.  The scars still exist and are a reminder of the trying time we went through.  The piles of pills and the monthly shots will continue.  The pills will continue for another 3 years and the black and blue bruising elephant shot will go for one more year.

Part of the surgical process most breast cancer victims have involves the use of alloderm which helps regenerate tissue in the recovery process.  The result is an intact acellular matrix of natural biological components that promotes rapid revascularization, white cell migration and cell repopulation.  The problem with most women is that this results in what is known as rippling caused by the scar tissue.  Many women are taught to massage their breasts after the surgery, but this has met with mixed results.  Recently the Graston Technique has been introduced.  It uses medieval looking tools which vibrate against the skin as it runs over the rippling area. 

Please see the attached story and video:

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/health&id=7879903

The story features both my wife’s therapist, Julie Wong, and my wife’s cancer surgeon Dr. Shelley Hwang.

Remember or Move On?

26 Tuesday Oct 2010

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This Time's A Charm

It has been a while since I posted here.  It doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about what to post.  I’ve been thinking, but I’ve also been living.  Right after my last post, my friend Donald passed after losing his battle with cancer.  What do you say when the best fighter loses their fight?  I told him once I felt guilty that since my wife was feeling okay that I felt like maybe it was time to move on.  I respected people like him, Lance Armstrong and others who continue to raise awareness and also inspire others in such a public way.  He told me there is no guilt and no shame. 

I’ve always been taught not to forget your past.  Don’t forget where you’ve come from.  Remember the journey and all the people that helped you along the way.  The cancer that my wife had and all the people who helped us won’t be forgotten.  They are special people,  but when the memory is an unplesant one, it is nice to not have to think about it.  As it was my wife’s illness, I think I take her lead.  She is moving on and I can tell would rather not talk about it if she can.

The problem is the disease still won’t go away.  You can’t escape it.  As I mentioned, right after my last post Donald, Wilhelm died, then my wife’s good friend found out she has breast cancer and two more relatives admitted that they have it as well. 

So maybe we can’t move on.  You can live, but you have to live with those memories and help inspire others.  We don’t have to inspire others by helping them directly with their fight.  You can help by showing them how to keep moving, keep breathing, keep smiling. 

And as a message to Amy, the wife of Donald, you will find your way to move on.  Do not feel as though you need to prolong his message.  It will always be there……”don’t ever give up.”

Internet Marketing from the Real Experts

03 Wednesday Feb 2010

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Business - Affiliate Marketing

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Internet Marketing My Shawn Collins and Missy Ward

Internet Marketing My Shawn Collins and Missy Ward

 At our recent Affiliate Summit, the organizers, Shawn Collins and Missy Ward unveiled their new book Internet Marketing From the Real Experts, a compilation of lessons from many of our colleagues in the internet marketing world.

The book has quickly risen into the top 1200 list on Amazon with very little marketing….or should I say traditional marketing.  The beauty of a book written about internet marketing is that it will likely be marketed well by those who wrote it.  In fact, the Gang of 88, as the contributing writers are called, are all marketing the book in their own way in blogs, on Facebook, on Twitter, etc.  Shawn and Missy also gave an incentive by giving all people who wrote a review online a silver pass to their next Affiliate Summit in New York in August.

The book is a quick read and for those of us in the business many of the “3 minute anecdotes” might seem trivial but for someone just entering the game and wanting some quick reference points will find this book to be a good useful starting point.  While I  found myself shaking my head at some passages I also found myself nodding my head at others.  There are probably sections I might never read, but that is why the book was written this way.

The book is written so that you can skip around and find the parts relevant to you.  Want thoughts on Twitter and Social Media?  There is a chapter.  Want to know about SEO and SEM?  Video?  There are sections dedicated to those topics as well.  The articles are based upon the writings from the first 7 issues of the of their magazine Feed Front.  Some might look at the title and say, “experts”?  Well maybe the writers aren’t experts, but they are real people in the industry who do the dayd to day work.  Thay aren’t professors or pontificators, but really the people on the affiliate line on a daily basis. 

I could go on and on, but I don’t want to reveal too much about the book because I think those interested should purchase the book themselves.  Still not sure if this book is for you and perhaps would like a reason to purchase a marketing book? At $14.93 on Amazon the book is a bargain, but not just for the knowledge gained, but because all proceeds from the sale of the book go to benefit and help the Fight Against Breast Cancer, a cause near and dear to the hearts of the authors and those in the industry.

What Should I write?

 While at the Summit I kiddingly asked Shawn to sign the copy included in my bag.  He laughed and I told him I wasn’t kidding.  Admittedly he was more distracted by the football game on the screen in front of him as his beloved Jets were playing in the playoffs.

I didn’t read what he wrote until returned home.  Hmmmmm, looks like I might have to write something for Feed Front to be included in the next edition.  Perhaps the ongoing struggle of running affiliate programs within larger corporations.

A Brand New Day – Breast Cancer Awareness Month

09 Friday Oct 2009

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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Been a bit since I posted thoughts here.  A lot has been going on in life so it is good to capture these thoughts now.  I have been inundated with life events that have put me in a very pensive mood about what where I’ve been, where I am and where I am going in life.  After these last two weeks, today is defintiely a Brand New Day.

When I arrived home yesterday I saw the biggest smile on my wife’s face.  To be welcomed by a big kiss a day after coming home to find that I lost a close relative to a heart attack was definitely a good pick me up.  This may be the beginning of a brand new day on our journey with cancer.  My wife’s joy was from her follow up post-op appointment with her surgeon.  I think her doctors were also relieved to see her smiling as well as she said that they all gave her big hugs.  Yes, my wife was her usual “chatty Cathy” self again, and that meant all was really well.  It just dawned on me that it had been over 18 months since I had seen that excitement on her face.  I had missed her “text” message in which she had told me how happy she was.  She had been in good spirits, mind you, but this was just different.  Some say our journey of survivorship is over, but I think when we look back it has only just begun.

One of the things that I didn’t know would affect me so much is the way Breast Cancer Awareness has grown so much.  Last year when my wife was just starting her battle we might have missed all of the action, but this year we both seem to be more aware of how powerful a movement Breast Cancer Awareness month really is.  I felt like every week there was a walk or run for breast cancer and I did notice a lot of products in the grocery store when purchased gave back to some breast cancer research fund.
Ingrid Michaelson sang for Breast Cancer at Slide

Ingrid Michaelson sang for Breast Cancer at Slide

For example, Ingrid Michaelson, pictured above, sang at a local club last night here in San Francisco with proceed donations at the door going to Breast Cancer Organizations in the Bay Area.  The song “Be Okay”  has become a feature song in the fight against breast cancer.   She was also part of the Hotel Cafe Tour last year in which the album, Winter Songs, gave $.50 for each sale to breast cancer research.

SF 49er Cheerleaders wear pink tops for breast cancer

SF 49er Cheerleaders wear pink tops for breast cancer

This past weekend, all of the NFL paid homage to breast cancer and its survivors.  At the 49er game, donations were taken at the gate, referees wore pink, cheerleaders wore pink and players wore pink.  Before the game, 50 breast cancer survivors were introduced to the players.  One of the captains, 49ers QB, Shaun Hill, who wore pink cleats during the game, met with the survivors.  He was later quoted as saying how he had put on the pink cleats without thinking.  He didn’t know anyone with breast cancer, but when he met these women and saw the spirit in their eyes he said it suddenly became real to him and the shoes meant something.  He said it even rattled him a bit before the game started.

Zach Johnson, PGA Tour Pro, sports pink ribbon at President's Cup

Zach Johnson, PGA Tour Pro, sports pink ribbon at President's Cup

And just yesterday I was at the President’s Cup.  Nothing formal was done around Breast Cancer Awareness but a couple of the US players, notably Phil Mickelson and Master’s Champion, Zach Johnson, wore pink ribbons.  Phil’s wife Amy, a native of Northern California, is currently battling breast cancer.  What was readily apparent was that Phil made a point of saying hello and stopping for a second to speak with every person who wore a notably pink cap or ribbon to stop and sign an autograph.  Several elderly women who wore Susan G. Komen shirts were startled as he stopped to say hello and give them each a hug.  It didn’t go unnoticed by me or any of the thousands of spectators who saw this connection and warmth he exhibited especially when compared to other golfers who whisked right by the crowd without any kind of acknowledgement to the screaming fans.

So what does this mean?  To me it is just the sign of how powerful a community of similarity around a single cause can be.  I wish the same thing could be done around heart disease.  Just like the push for a mammogram, perhaps everyone should get an EKG.  With the obese population we have and the number of people who die of heart attacks each year, why shouldn’t we all get one.  I probably need one and my cousin who passed away in his early 50s in his sleep earlier this week could have used one.  I bet his 3 teenage children and wife wish that he could have had one.

My son with the NFL ref sporting pink wristbands and ribbon

My son with the NFL ref sporting pink wristbands and ribbon

These events when they hit so close to home just make me think more about my life in so many ways.  What was the last thing I did with my cousin?  Gave him a High-5 and a hug at the 49ers home opener.  How good does that make me feel?  It helps me feel like my peace with my cousin is there.  It reminded me that when you see someone make sure you leave a good impression with them until you see them again and to remember that smile until the next time you see them.  My cousin and his wife and family are models to me of where I will be in 10 years.  I can’t help but see that in 10 years I don’t want my heart to fail on my own children and leave them fatherless as they just get started with their lives.  It is sad though.  My cousin was my 10 year barometer in life.  His death to me is a kick start to remind myself to do as much as I can to spend quality time with my children and really make sure they know me and my wishes for them.  My life is an open book to them.  No secrets.  My fears and hopes and dreams are there for them to inspect.

My cousin and his wife were the first people we told on my father’s side of the family when my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and they were the first to help out.  My wife and I are beside ourselves about how lucky and fortunate we are to be winning the battle against breast cancer a year later at the same time we are seeing people who seemed so healthy leave us behind.  There is no rhyme or reason it seems.

NFL All-Pro LB Patrick Willis sports his pink gloves and cleats

NFL All-Pro LB Patrick Willis sports his pink gloves and cleats

Finally, my son’s classmate’s dad finally lost his battle with pancreatic cancer earlier this week as well.  Yes I feel like signs of my life area ll around me.  Watching another dad with similar age children leave behind a wife to take care of a 10 and 7 year old is just so sad.  When first diagnosed he told me how his main goal was to fight the cancer as long as he could but he knew he couldn’t win in the long run and thus his other goal was to impart enough of his thoughts on life to his two sons so that they’d have something to guide them.  Watching the 10 year old this week, his father did a good job in preparing him  for the inevitable day.  Sad that it has to be at such a young age though for such a good kid.

So where do I go from here?  As I said, it’s a brand new day.  We can only go forward, live life to it’s fullest and make sure we taste every experience we can get and share it with everyone in such a way that we have an impact on those who might have to be reminded or forget the power of the human spirit.

Another Milestone of Thanks on 9/9/9

10 Thursday Sep 2009

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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“I won’t give up if you don’t give up” – Train from “Calling All Angels”

I want to give a big thank you to all friends, family and business associates who helped my family deal with my wife’s illness this past year.

Today was just another day of running around the house getting the kids out of bed, reminding them to put their clothes away, brush their teeth, comb their hair and rushing them out the door to school.  Hundreds of thousands of families repeated that same ritual this morning without batting an eye. Kids waving at me in my rear view mirror as I drove off to work just put that smile on my face that puts one in a happy place.  These small things we take for granted, but I’ve learned to cherish these moments which are the strong fibers in the fabric of our lives.

Midway through the day I was running through my emails, my Facebook updates, and my Tweets as I ate my lunch and someone wished me a “Happy 9/9/09”.  The date in slightly different formats had two meanings for me.  Exactly 10 years ago my wife went into labor with our first child.  The hospitals were then packed on 9/9/99 with tech geeks in the area wanting to have their babies on that day.  Incidentally my wife didn’t eventually give birth until 9/11 which gave my son an equally auspicious birthday. 

More recently, the date marked exactly a year since I spent one of the longest days in my life at the  hospital as my wife went through a 6 hour surgery to have her cancer removed.  As I responded to a few emails including one from the mother of my son’s classmate (her husband is dying of cancer) I could only think once again of how fortunate we are.  I can only say thank you so many times to the wonderful friends who supported us physically with meals, carpools, rehab walks, babysitting,  and even just a nice cup of coffee as well as emotionally with advice, cards, flowers, and prayers through a very tough time. All of those efforts allowed us to get back to the living our normal every day lives without hardly skipping a beat.  A big thanks also goes out to all our new friends who met as we entered into this new community in our lives who helped us better understand what we would be going through and prepared us for the months of hard work. Even more to those old friends I grew up with who gave their unconditional support even though we hadn’t seen each other in decades and barely knew my wife.

Why the video in this post?  “Calling All Angels” by Train is one of those songs that has been in my iPod for years and was listened to occasionally, but this past year it kept pushing me through some of my long night runs (over 1100 miles since the night of that surgery), inspiring me to keep going until it became a big part of my mantra run.  I felt like I was running the streets of San Francisco calling for angels to help and they did.  Incidentally, Train is coming out with a new album called “Save me San Francisco” (the band was formed here) and their hit song, Hey Soul Sister, is a catchy little tune that I think captures the energy of  the sisterhood of women suffering from breast cancer.  The fight against breast cancer is an intense one wrought with emotion.  The sisterhood is strong.  The women I met as I searched for answers showed me how a strong community atmosphere can be so supportive.  The song also captures for me my love for the woman who has been both my hope and my inspiration over the last year.

Well when I got home tonight all I could do was give my wife a big hug.  The date had hit her in the middle of the day too.  We smiled as our kids wondered why mommy and daddy were so happy that they had to give each other a big embrace in the kitchen.  We just told them we are just very very lucky people.  Only a year gone by and the ability to look back and smile and turn our heads to the future is a good thing.