“You’re not quite ready to be a full time soccer mom.”
Weekend number 3 after surgery and we started to try to get back to something normal. Soccer season with two games across at the same time required logistical gymnastics. Another mom drove her and our daughter to the game. She never watches but I made her promise me that she’d stay in the car and watch the game or at least watch the whole game and not take her eye off the ball if she stood on the sideline. I reminded her that a kid or ball running into her would not be good and that she wasn’t quite ready to be a full time soccer mom. Of course she didn’t listen, stood on the sideline, and according to our daughter, took a ball in the hip. Yikes!
The next day was a cousin’s wedding reception. We have lots of older sick relatives so we hadn’t told them anything. It was a crowded restaurant with very little wiggle room so my son and I played like offensive linemen protecting her from any blind-sided impact or overzealous hugging relatives. Somehow we made it through the 3-hour ordeal with her being totally exhausted but happy to get out of the house. She also had the chance to talk to a cousin and a couple of aunts who had had breast cancer. They consoled her and reassured her that all would be well. Their stories were all different. My cousin had the same surgery my wife did. One aunt had a lumpectomy and had to go back for a bilateral mastectomy. Another had a mastectomy and reconstruction on one side. At one point the 3 of them and my mother all took a photo together with the bride. I alone shed a tear thinking how these 4 women all indirectly related by marriage were impacted by cancer and were sisters in a community of women who have been through a lot. There were no shared genes. All connected by marriage and a similar disease and very bright smiles. I don’t think they even realized the circumstances of who was in that photo.
My wife did say that the pain was lesser and that she only seemed to be pained later in the afternoon. She really looks great and I know part of it is her always positive style which I told her she needed to put away sometimes. While it is good to look great so everyone can feel good for her, there might still be some tough times ahead and she might have to let everyone understand that. We still won’t know her possible chemo plan for another week.
The week is starting off okay. I’m still taking the kids to school and she is now picking the kids up. I think the kids really feel better knowing mom is okay enough to pick them up and play chauffeur again. I have to remind them to take it easy on her though. Her mobility is good and we don’t have any visits to the PS this week so it is just a good week to get things done. The hard part for me is to get back to work and keep my concentration. I do worry and call just to make sure she is okay. Letting go is going to be a hard one for me as I will not feel comfortable until she has fully regained her strength and we feel like we can truly begin the healing process.
It is hard to believe it has only been two months since her diagnosis. It seems like forever. And we still have a litle longer to go.