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Tag Archives: Breast

The Breast Cancer Video I Never had to Post

02 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Breast, cancer, dying, living legacy, mom, parenting

Tonight I came across this video below.  Support the National Breast Cancer Coalition.  This video is so sad.

It brings me back to my dark days 4 years ago thinking about what I was going to have to tell my children about their mother and worrying about what I’d have to do if I should become ill before my own children  became adults.  I am fortunate that my wife’s diagnosis was not as bad, but once you belong to the community of breast cancer survivors and caregivers, you are part of the community forever.

Amazingly, Genentech saw this video and are allowing her to get a drug that is on trial,  She won’t be cured, but the drug should prolong her life.

A Warm San Francisco Holiday To All

22 Tuesday Dec 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Breast, cancer, family, holidays, running, san Francisco, travel

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays Everyone,

Before everyone takes off on their vacations from their virtual world, I just thought I’d wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwaanza, etc.  Please be safe if you are traveling this season!

As I pushed through the chilling temperatures and blustery winds of San Francisco during my run last night I kept reminding myself of those cold December nights I’ve spent in New York City, Chicago, and Pittsburgh.  Nothing will ever compare to those cold bitter nights when I wore long underwear under my wool suits and wondered why I left my “City by the Bay”. I do remember telling myself that I would remember those days so I would appreciate San Francisco that much more when I would eventually return.   Although cold, my run was dry and I ran down the festively lit shopping areas of Sacramento St, Fillmore St., California, and Clement St. distracting myself with the observations of the decorations people had in their windows.

While the glittery lights were dazzling and the quietness of the air still reminded me of how our economy is not quite back up to speed, the most warming images of my run were of the people. 

First, there was the elderly couple walking together with their arms around each other as they left their party at Spruce Restaurant (http://www.sprucesf.com). They stopped and kissed saying “I love you” and touching their foreheads together in the middle of the sidewalk as I dodged them.  It was a split second of our paths crossing but it was a beautiful image.

Second, there were the two inebriated young ladies in their short cocktail dresses stumbling out of the Elite Cafe (http://www.theelitecafe.com/) before crashing to the ground.  I say crashing because they fell backwards into me as I ran behind them.  Fortunately I caught one before she hit her head on one of the tables outside. They were inebriated because as the cabbie and I helped them to their feet, neither of them could pronounce their destination.  I laughed when she said they were going to New York.  A great guy, the cabbie, a little Frenchman in his beret and scruffy clothes had me and one of the waiters watch him as he helped one girl open her purse to find her address. She kissed his scruffy face as he pushed her back into the cab.  “Welcome to Christmas on the Barbary Coast”, he said as he tipped his cap to us while mentioning one of the many long-gone nicknames of San Francisco.  I think I ran a whole another mile before the whole incident washed behind me, turning towards home.  The cab driver reminded me of the kindness of people at this time of year.

As I passed by San Francisco’s only 24 hour Starbucks in Laurel Village (yes I love running by it at night just so that I can get a whiff of the caffeine aroma) a bunch of Fire Engine’s raced by me.  Looking for an alternate route, I followed their sirens.  A Portable Potty had been set ablaze nearby.  This has been the work of arsons as dozens have been set on fire over the last year.

Not wanting to end my run on a negative note, I continued on and started  to notice a pattern that is so familiar this time of year.  I had been seeing it over the a past week as cars and taxis pull up in front of homes and the dwellers come out to greet and hug a family member returning home.  The tears of joy and happiness really signify what this season is about and while the images weren’t exactly Norman Rockwell-esque, they told the story.  The story of family and friends coming together.  I even saw a soldier returning home a couple weeks ago in full gear as his mother screamed when she opened the door (adorned with a yellow ribbon).

All of these images (including the fiery portable toilet) told the story of 2009.  Maybe they weren’t my story, but they were nice ones.

2009 will be just that for me.  “A Nice One”.  I’ll definitely take that after 2008.  I needn’t look much further than 2008 to remember what was happening last year as my wife was recovering from her second surgery in 3 months and we scheduled ourselves for a very low key Christmas with only enough fanfare to keep our kid’s spirits high.  Just 365 days ago I sat by her bedside making sure she’d be okay just to get up and deal with Christmas.  While 2009 was no picnic, and we did deal with two more minor surgeries, life today compared to last year couldn’t be much better healthwise.

The holiday is often on its long tail as we’ve already had two family gatherings, a work party and a large bash at a friend’s home yet we are still 3 days shy of Christmas.  We still have two more family gatherings to go to.  Such is the life of the fragmented world and family.  As I sit here in my den, I know of local friends spending the holiday in Hawaii, Argentina, Spain, France, England, Italy & Brazil just to name those places not on this continent.  They all sound enticing…. the Champs Elysees on Christmas?  How magical does that sound!?

Well San Francisco is where we remain and where we will keep our hearts this Christmas!  No snow and no sand!  The image above is from  Sara Showalter, (www.sarashowalter.com) or @gidget on Twitter.  A great local artist, the image was used for our holiday card this year. If you are looking for an artist or photographer, I highly recommend her.  And the best thing about her?  She is a diehard San Francisco Giants fan!

Doing the Manly Thing

24 Tuesday Nov 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

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Tags

Breast, cancer, Chris Spielman, co-survivor, husbands, NFL, NFL breast cancer

“Cancer is never just about the person who has it. At least it shouldn’t be. It’s about everyone around that person. Chris made a selfless decision and I love him dearly for it.”  – Stefanie Spielman about her husband Chris before she lost her battle with breast cancer.

Many of you may not know who Chris Spielman is, but he was an All-American linebacker from Ohio St. and NFL All-pro.  He also exemplified in my mind a great role model for all husbands out there when it comes to supporting your spouse.  It isn’t just that he is a celebrity that I give him credit for being a good husband.  I think he went beyond the call of duty as a co-survivor.  I copied the story below by Lisa Olson

Recently his wife passed.  What I really loved about this story is how he showed what co-survivorship is all about.  I‘ve attached a link here, but you can also just read this story below:

 ============================================

by Lisa Olson 

When Chris Spielman suffered a brutal neck injury, he said overcoming it was a breeze compared to most everything his wife Stefanie had faced. When her hair started falling out, when clumps of it began landing on the floor and in their toddler’s hands, Chris decided to shave his own head, a soldier in solidarity. When it became apparent that more chemotherapy and a mastectomy — breast cancer’s evil twins — were high on Stefanie’s schedule, Chris bid a temporary farewell to the NFL, skipping an entire year so he could be with the woman he proposed to on the 18th hole of a Putt-Putt course.

None of the above should be considered exceptional behavior by husbands or partners forced to watch their loved one undergo treatment for cancer. But everything Chris did back in those gloomy days following his wife’s diagnosis was regarded as unusual and, in some parts, emasculating.

Stefanie Spielman, 42, died Thursday after a lengthy battle with breast cancer. Chris Spielman, the NFL and Ohio State star, was by her side, along with their four children, and while she deserves a thousand hosannas and a billion thanks for her work in raising millions over the years to combat the disease, it should be noted that he was quite the trailblazer.

When they met at a teen dance in their hometown of Massillon, Ohio, Chris was a high school stud who soon would be featured on the cover of a Wheaties box; his football journey continued at Ohio State, where his bone-crunching hits as an All-American linebacker became legendary. By the time Stefanie found a lump in her right breast during a routine self-exam, they had been married 10 years and he was deep into an NFL career. This was 1998, and let’s just say the world of sports was not as enlightened as it is now.

She was three months pregnant when she felt that lump, and later miscarried. Chris told her he wanted to skip his upcoming season with the Buffalo Bills so he could accompany her to doctor appointments, and hold her head when the chemo made her nauseous, and be a calming force as she underwent surgery to remove her breast. Eight stellar years with the Detroit Lions and another two with the Bills (he set a team and personal record in 1996 with 206 tackles) had given him much credibility with the football-crazed public, but how would they understand this kind of absence?

“Players just didn’t leave the game unless they were injured or retiring on their own terms,” Stefanie once told me at a fundraiser for Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong foundation. “It seemed so simple to me. Just tell the fans your wife has breast cancer. Who knows? Maybe it will have some kind of trickle-down effect. Maybe one fan will go home and say to his wife, ‘Honey, sweetheart, don’t forget to make that appointment for your mammogram.’

“Cancer is never just about the person who has it. At least it shouldn’t be. It’s about everyone around that person. Chris made a selfless decision and I love him dearly for it.”

He took the season off, shaved his head to match his wife’s beautiful bald dome and still there were the grumps in the Neanderthal section wondering why a Pro Bowl linebacker had to go and mess up their Sunday fun. When Stefanie’s treatment reached a manageable level, he returned to the NFL for the 1999 season, this time with the Cleveland Browns, but a second neck injury ended his NFL career.

“Nothing my body has gone through can begin to compare to what Stefanie deals with almost every day,” Chris once said. “She’s my hero.”

Stefanie’s plan, formed in the aftermath of her diagnosis, began on a small level, with a sign at Big Bear, the Spielman’s neighborhood grocery story, asking shoppers to please donate money to Ohio State’s James Cancer Hospital. A few thousand dollars, she said, would have made her delirious. Girl Scout troops and baseball teams and individuals and clubs from all across the community began offering their pennies, and within six months those pennies totaled $1 million.

The Stefanie Spielman Fund for Breast Cancer Research, along with the Stefanie’s Champions awards, has since raised more than $6.5 million for the cause. She survived four bouts with cancer before a fifth, and final, recurrence in the spring left her wheelchair-bound. She accompanied Chris to Ohio State’s season opener against Navy, when he was honored at halftime for his induction into the College Football Hall of Fame. Against a backdrop where Chris once played to phenomenal roars, the loudest applause, by far, came when Stefanie was introduced.

And in a cruel coincidence, on one of her last days came a report from a federal task force saying women should delay mammograms until they’re 50, 10 years later than the medical community has traditionally recommended. Not to make the Neanderthals in the balcony squeamish, but if you, the sports fan, have a mother, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend — or if you just happen to like healthy breasts — this might be a subject worth discussing at halftime. There is one tough linebacker who’d appreciate it.

“Stefanie has gone home to be with the Lord,” Chris Spielman said in a statement released by WBNS radio in Columbus, where he co-hosts a radio show. “For that, we celebrate, but with broken hearts. I want to thank everyone for their support over the last 12 years. Together, with your help, hopefully we made a difference in this fight.”

We hear all the time about athletes who’d never win plaques for Father or Husband of the Year. They fail in the complicated tango between celebrity and sports, neglecting their human responsibilities in exchange for fame and an enlarged ego. But there are many more who quietly go about their business between the lines, before returning home and acting as good citizens, good partners.

Chris and Stefanie Spielman’s story might have been one of the first public examples of an athlete doing the right — dare we say, the manly — thing. Thankfully, and in her memory, it won’t be the last.

(by Lisa Olson)

What's Up? How's Your Wife?

20 Friday Nov 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Breast, cancer, co-survivor, running, tamoxifin, Thanksgiving, wife

This is my most special place in all the world. Once a place touches you like this, the wind nevers blows so cold again. You feel for it, like it was your child.

– Moonlight Graham, Field of Dreams

Ah..what to write.  When I run each night, the mind swirls with this thick soup of thoughts.  Some people have writer’s block.  I have writer’s neurosis.  I wish you could see the list of half written blog entries that I have yet to complete.  You will, but hopefully they will still be relevant.  I guess tonight I will have to address some recent inquiries to my email……

Funny how I still occasionally get an email (this week I got two) which asked how my wife is and why I don’t write about cancer anymore in my blog.  The short answer is that this blog was never intended to be about my wife’s cancer.  It was just a continuation of my personal thoughts on life.  My public memoirs if you will.

The long answer is that I can say that I feel so lucky that my wife is doing great, gets monthly shots and takes daily pills to make sure the cancer does not come back.  We are just about at the one year mark of five years of Tamoxifin treatments (20% done is quite an achievement).  The monthly shots leave a nice black and blue mark on my wife’s abdomen, my wife’s surgical scars are starting to fade, and occasionally we talk about her side effects, but I take my cues from my wife for the most part.  She’s ready to move on.  That said, we don’t forget.  We don’t forget the fears, we don’t forget the worries, we don’t forget those nights without sleep, and we don’t forget the months of surgeries.  Reading some of the blogs and talking to those who have just been diagnosed or who have wives reminds us of where we were and how much our lives have changed.  

Breast cancer is now a large part of our lives so much so that we have to escape.  No breast cancer walks or runs for me.  My runs are my way of running in honor of my wife, mom, mom-in-law, cousins, aunts, and friends who have all been struck by breast cancer.  Every night when I run I am reminded of our fortunate results, my wife’s strength, and those others who we have met through our ordeal.  By the way, of all the above mentioned, only my mother was over 50 when first diagnosed.  Yes, this is in light of the new panel study which says that women should now wait til 50 before having mammograms.   It is really a shame that we are now trying to cut back on preventive medicine during a big time for research and discovery.  Now is not the time to cut back when we are making so much progress.

Yes, breast cancer as a topic is all around us now and we just can’t escape it so we relish those moments when it doesn’t remotely come close to infiltrating our conversations or thoughts.   It is like my friend who works with juvenile delinquents on a daily basis.  He has told me that because of his job he doesn’t want to have children of his own.  This week I met with a gentleman who has been waiting a month and his wife’s surgery is right after Thanksgiving.  I had met him a couple times, but this week he just broke down.  His fears and concerns finally overwhelmed his facade.  His worries about his wife, his kids, the mounting medical bills, and all the uncertainty surrounding the outcomes finally came to a head.  It just took me back a year and I relived it all in one hour.  That feeling of hopelessness hit me like a ton of bricks.  I broke down with this man I barely knew.  I couldn’t tell him things would be alright as I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to hear either.  I wanted a path.  I wanted a path out of the mess.  All I could tell him was to bury himself into caring for his wife.  Focus on the task at hand.

That night I ran a long run.  Couple that encounter with an incident earlier in the morning where I had a woman faint in the elevator bank in my office bulding.  It turns out she was having a heart attack.  All she kept saying was “my babies, my babies” . Her predicament had me distracted the rest of the day until I had my conversation with that breast cancer husband.  Both incidences had me reeling.  They reminded me of how fragile life is.  All I wanted that night was to be alone with my thoughts so I could just make sense of it all.

Well I hope that explains it all.  Thankful this Thanksgiving? Yep I sure will be.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

What’s Up? How’s Your Wife?

20 Friday Nov 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Breast, cancer, co-survivor, running, tamoxifin, Thanksgiving, wife

This is my most special place in all the world. Once a place touches you like this, the wind nevers blows so cold again. You feel for it, like it was your child.

– Moonlight Graham, Field of Dreams

Ah..what to write.  When I run each night, the mind swirls with this thick soup of thoughts.  Some people have writer’s block.  I have writer’s neurosis.  I wish you could see the list of half written blog entries that I have yet to complete.  You will, but hopefully they will still be relevant.  I guess tonight I will have to address some recent inquiries to my email……

Funny how I still occasionally get an email (this week I got two) which asked how my wife is and why I don’t write about cancer anymore in my blog.  The short answer is that this blog was never intended to be about my wife’s cancer.  It was just a continuation of my personal thoughts on life.  My public memoirs if you will.

The long answer is that I can say that I feel so lucky that my wife is doing great, gets monthly shots and takes daily pills to make sure the cancer does not come back.  We are just about at the one year mark of five years of Tamoxifin treatments (20% done is quite an achievement).  The monthly shots leave a nice black and blue mark on my wife’s abdomen, my wife’s surgical scars are starting to fade, and occasionally we talk about her side effects, but I take my cues from my wife for the most part.  She’s ready to move on.  That said, we don’t forget.  We don’t forget the fears, we don’t forget the worries, we don’t forget those nights without sleep, and we don’t forget the months of surgeries.  Reading some of the blogs and talking to those who have just been diagnosed or who have wives reminds us of where we were and how much our lives have changed.  

Breast cancer is now a large part of our lives so much so that we have to escape.  No breast cancer walks or runs for me.  My runs are my way of running in honor of my wife, mom, mom-in-law, cousins, aunts, and friends who have all been struck by breast cancer.  Every night when I run I am reminded of our fortunate results, my wife’s strength, and those others who we have met through our ordeal.  By the way, of all the above mentioned, only my mother was over 50 when first diagnosed.  Yes, this is in light of the new panel study which says that women should now wait til 50 before having mammograms.   It is really a shame that we are now trying to cut back on preventive medicine during a big time for research and discovery.  Now is not the time to cut back when we are making so much progress.

Yes, breast cancer as a topic is all around us now and we just can’t escape it so we relish those moments when it doesn’t remotely come close to infiltrating our conversations or thoughts.   It is like my friend who works with juvenile delinquents on a daily basis.  He has told me that because of his job he doesn’t want to have children of his own.  This week I met with a gentleman who has been waiting a month and his wife’s surgery is right after Thanksgiving.  I had met him a couple times, but this week he just broke down.  His fears and concerns finally overwhelmed his facade.  His worries about his wife, his kids, the mounting medical bills, and all the uncertainty surrounding the outcomes finally came to a head.  It just took me back a year and I relived it all in one hour.  That feeling of hopelessness hit me like a ton of bricks.  I broke down with this man I barely knew.  I couldn’t tell him things would be alright as I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to hear either.  I wanted a path.  I wanted a path out of the mess.  All I could tell him was to bury himself into caring for his wife.  Focus on the task at hand.

That night I ran a long run.  Couple that encounter with an incident earlier in the morning where I had a woman faint in the elevator bank in my office bulding.  It turns out she was having a heart attack.  All she kept saying was “my babies, my babies” . Her predicament had me distracted the rest of the day until I had my conversation with that breast cancer husband.  Both incidences had me reeling.  They reminded me of how fragile life is.  All I wanted that night was to be alone with my thoughts so I could just make sense of it all.

Well I hope that explains it all.  Thankful this Thanksgiving? Yep I sure will be.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Some Mondays Don't Go as Planned – A Loving Fight

25 Tuesday Aug 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Breast, breast cancer, cancer, carol Franc buck, mastoplexy, nipple sparing scar revision, skin-sparing mastectomy, surgery, Tamoxifen, UCSF

“It Ain’t Over til It’s Over” – Yogi Berra

Gifts from our UCSF Decision Services group

Gifts from our UCSF Decision Services group

As I start this entry we are waiting for the nurses as my wife waits on what we hope will be her final surgery, almost a year to the date of her original breast cancer surgery.

This summer has been a rough one with my father-in-law in the hospital on the opposite coast for 6 weeks fighting a staph infection that laid him up with severe back pains and a high fever which made him hallucinate.  Trying to entertain kids on their annul summer visit while juggling a couple hours in the hospital each day was not a fun chore for my wife.  On top of that her longtime neighbor and family friend died of lung cancer while we were visiting.  My wife loves going home to visit friends and family, but this time despite the pending birth of our new nephew, I think she was happy to get back home.  She hadn’t even gotten the chance to mention that she was about to undergo her 4th surgery in a year.

Four surgeries in a year is not a badge of honor and at the same time it is not even close to the amount of surgeries many people have gone through with breast cancer, but looking back on it I still wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  A total of 22 hours in surgeries so far and the 4th only expected to be 90 minutes and I can only imagine the toll all the anaesthesia takes on the brain.  Maybe its old age but I can already sense some memory issues with my wife.  She’s been through a lot and I have all the respect for her approach to this last one.

This morning our kids were cranky about having to get up early and were giving my wife a hard time.  It really didn’t make me feel good to have to pull each of them aside and remind them how lucky we are.  For two young kids who have had nothing but cancer and hospital visits all around them for the last two years, they instantly knew this was not the time to be acting up and realized how fortunate to have what they have.

(Move ahead 15 hours)

Well my wife had a bit of a temperature today and they didn’t want to operate on her for fear she might be getting sick and there could be a resulting infection.  They knew my wife and I would be disappointed when they broke the news.  We had waited 4 months for this date, but now have to wait more.  After such a hard morning  getting there it was a bit disheartening.  I could see my wife was bothered.  I was bothered too.  A little for me and a lot for her.  Tonight I just felt I had to apologize as I think she could tell I was not happy with the delay as well.  We just want to get all of this overwith.  One last surgery we hope.  Now the wait again.  A wait for another surgery date.

We can’t be angry though.  My wife and I tried to console each other and subtly reminded each other of how lucky we are to be where we are today.  It hasn’t been easy and this wasn’t going to end easy either.  We’d been patient this far and couldn’t take this personally.  It is so easy to lose your cool when you can taste that chance of moving to the next step.   What’s a few more months…heck we still have to wait a few more years to be considered cancer (and Tamoxifen) free.  The cancer clinic itself has been great.  Just a couple weeks ago during her pre-op appointment they gave her a framed article from the Wall St. Journal that she had helped with (she took photos with the physicians) as well as a huge bouquet of flowers.  They really care for her well-being and would rather err on the side of conservatism.  Getting to know people on a first name basis makes things so much easier on the patient.  I remember seeing them having to look at the charts to remember my wife’s diagnosis and name.  Unfortunately they know it real well now, but that sterile feeling of being “just another breast cancer statistic” is gone.  Being able to ask your sugreon about their kids and how they are liking their new school just helps to ease the tension.

On a side note, our son’s classmate’s father who was given only a few weeks at the beginning of the summer is still holding on.  He is weaker now, but he really wants to see his kids start the school year.  It will help them and I think he will make it to that goal.  It is really sad, but in a small way having their sons back in school with such a supporting community will make the eventual loss not as lonely.  Just last year this happened with another schoolmate when they lost their mother after her six year battle and the school rallied to make meals all year long.  I had a chance to see the father at the pool this summer and he said it had been a long year but it taught him about patience and forgiveness with his two young boys. They had lived with this cancer with their mother for 6 years and he said the highs and lows were rough.  This year was very numbing without her. Knowing that my wife was in a similar situation, he just put his hand on my back and let me know I could talk whenever I needed.

Yep.  Patience.  Practice before and after.  Take one step at a time. There is no rush when it comes to cancer because it is a long road.

Some Mondays Don’t Go as Planned – A Loving Fight

25 Tuesday Aug 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Breast, breast cancer, cancer, carol Franc buck, mastoplexy, nipple sparing scar revision, skin-sparing mastectomy, surgery, Tamoxifen, UCSF

“It Ain’t Over til It’s Over” – Yogi Berra

Gifts from our UCSF Decision Services group

Gifts from our UCSF Decision Services group

As I start this entry we are waiting for the nurses as my wife waits on what we hope will be her final surgery, almost a year to the date of her original breast cancer surgery.

This summer has been a rough one with my father-in-law in the hospital on the opposite coast for 6 weeks fighting a staph infection that laid him up with severe back pains and a high fever which made him hallucinate.  Trying to entertain kids on their annul summer visit while juggling a couple hours in the hospital each day was not a fun chore for my wife.  On top of that her longtime neighbor and family friend died of lung cancer while we were visiting.  My wife loves going home to visit friends and family, but this time despite the pending birth of our new nephew, I think she was happy to get back home.  She hadn’t even gotten the chance to mention that she was about to undergo her 4th surgery in a year.

Four surgeries in a year is not a badge of honor and at the same time it is not even close to the amount of surgeries many people have gone through with breast cancer, but looking back on it I still wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  A total of 22 hours in surgeries so far and the 4th only expected to be 90 minutes and I can only imagine the toll all the anaesthesia takes on the brain.  Maybe its old age but I can already sense some memory issues with my wife.  She’s been through a lot and I have all the respect for her approach to this last one.

This morning our kids were cranky about having to get up early and were giving my wife a hard time.  It really didn’t make me feel good to have to pull each of them aside and remind them how lucky we are.  For two young kids who have had nothing but cancer and hospital visits all around them for the last two years, they instantly knew this was not the time to be acting up and realized how fortunate to have what they have.

(Move ahead 15 hours)

Well my wife had a bit of a temperature today and they didn’t want to operate on her for fear she might be getting sick and there could be a resulting infection.  They knew my wife and I would be disappointed when they broke the news.  We had waited 4 months for this date, but now have to wait more.  After such a hard morning  getting there it was a bit disheartening.  I could see my wife was bothered.  I was bothered too.  A little for me and a lot for her.  Tonight I just felt I had to apologize as I think she could tell I was not happy with the delay as well.  We just want to get all of this overwith.  One last surgery we hope.  Now the wait again.  A wait for another surgery date.

We can’t be angry though.  My wife and I tried to console each other and subtly reminded each other of how lucky we are to be where we are today.  It hasn’t been easy and this wasn’t going to end easy either.  We’d been patient this far and couldn’t take this personally.  It is so easy to lose your cool when you can taste that chance of moving to the next step.   What’s a few more months…heck we still have to wait a few more years to be considered cancer (and Tamoxifen) free.  The cancer clinic itself has been great.  Just a couple weeks ago during her pre-op appointment they gave her a framed article from the Wall St. Journal that she had helped with (she took photos with the physicians) as well as a huge bouquet of flowers.  They really care for her well-being and would rather err on the side of conservatism.  Getting to know people on a first name basis makes things so much easier on the patient.  I remember seeing them having to look at the charts to remember my wife’s diagnosis and name.  Unfortunately they know it real well now, but that sterile feeling of being “just another breast cancer statistic” is gone.  Being able to ask your sugreon about their kids and how they are liking their new school just helps to ease the tension.

On a side note, our son’s classmate’s father who was given only a few weeks at the beginning of the summer is still holding on.  He is weaker now, but he really wants to see his kids start the school year.  It will help them and I think he will make it to that goal.  It is really sad, but in a small way having their sons back in school with such a supporting community will make the eventual loss not as lonely.  Just last year this happened with another schoolmate when they lost their mother after her six year battle and the school rallied to make meals all year long.  I had a chance to see the father at the pool this summer and he said it had been a long year but it taught him about patience and forgiveness with his two young boys. They had lived with this cancer with their mother for 6 years and he said the highs and lows were rough.  This year was very numbing without her. Knowing that my wife was in a similar situation, he just put his hand on my back and let me know I could talk whenever I needed.

Yep.  Patience.  Practice before and after.  Take one step at a time. There is no rush when it comes to cancer because it is a long road.

UCSF Breast Cancer Videos

27 Monday Jul 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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Breast, breast cancer, cancer, research, videos

Both my wife’s surgeon, Dr. Shelley Hwang, and her oncologist, Dr. Hope Rugo, are part of the team at UCSF’s Carol Franc Buck Cancer Clinic in San Francisco and have put together a series of videos (Dr. Rugo is also part of Breast Cancer.org’s panel of Medical Experts). The videos are reflective of the care my wife is receiving.

The videos discuss bisphosphonates, Tamoxifen, AI, OS, and DCIS research as well as alternative approaches to care for those who have discovered DCIS.

They are both very interesting or at least can help you in your dialogue with your physician or even your spouse. Sometimes it is hard to communicate to others what is going on and I know I personally found these easier to digest than having an emotional discussion with my own wife and physicians.

One thing you will notice about the demeanor of both physicians is their sense of community with the patient as well as their keen sense for wanting to find both the causes and the cures for this disease. It is my hope they will not only uncover many of the keys to solving breast cancer, but other cancers as well.

– Shelley Hwang on DCIS

– Hope Rugo on New Frontier of Hormone Therapy

UCSF’s Breast Care Center

20 Monday Jul 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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Breast, cancer, Laura Esserman, UCSF

Dr. Esserman of the Carol Franc Buck Breast Care Center

Dr. Esserman of the Carol Franc Buck Breast Care Center

I thought I’d share this great article that appeared today about Dr. Laura Esserman who is the lead surgeon at the UCSF clinic where my wife goes for her procedures.  My wife’s surgeon (S. Hwang) is part of this great group of surgeons who provide a great personal service.

The article also speaks to Jessica Galloway, who we had met through our children’s nursery school when my mother and she were going through chemo together.  5 years later, Jessica would be a great asset for my own wife as she navigated the information and questions associated with breast cancer. 

I thought this article just captures the great community and personal excellence needed to get through a very trying time in the lives of breast cancer patients and survivors.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/20/DDSF18KFH2.DTL

UCSF's Breast Care Center

20 Monday Jul 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Breast, cancer, Laura Esserman, UCSF

Dr. Esserman of the Carol Franc Buck Breast Care Center

Dr. Esserman of the Carol Franc Buck Breast Care Center

I thought I’d share this great article that appeared today about Dr. Laura Esserman who is the lead surgeon at the UCSF clinic where my wife goes for her procedures.  My wife’s surgeon (S. Hwang) is part of this great group of surgeons who provide a great personal service.

The article also speaks to Jessica Galloway, who we had met through our children’s nursery school when my mother and she were going through chemo together.  5 years later, Jessica would be a great asset for my own wife as she navigated the information and questions associated with breast cancer. 

I thought this article just captures the great community and personal excellence needed to get through a very trying time in the lives of breast cancer patients and survivors.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/20/DDSF18KFH2.DTL

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