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Tag Archives: cancer

Feeling Thankful

28 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Sports & Life

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breast cancer, cancer, faith, life, spirit, strength, Thanksgiving

“When life kicks you, let it kick you forward” – Anonymous Brest Cancer Survivor

Thanksgiving always kicks me and reminds me about how thankful I am that the 2 most important women in my life survived breast cancer and more importantly inspire me every day.

Breast Cancer Awareness month (October) came and went again for my family last month.  Between my mother and wife it is the 9th consecutive year that it has directly hit me (although indirectly through others as well).  Last month was actually the magical 5 year cancerversary for my wife.  It is a fictional celebration point in the timeline for a breast cancer patient.  The chances are high that you’ve kicked the disease if you haven’t had a relapse.  The journey has been so long, we almost forgot it.  In fact when we went for my wife’s quarterly check with her medication, it didn’t even dawn on us.  Cancer is like part of the family.

Going to visit the Diller Cancer Center is an eye opener and a reminder of our journey.  As we walked through the Infusion Area where most people are getting their chemo, you just get grounded when you see all the drawn and tired faces.  If I have to say one thing, if you ever have the chance to keep a friend or relative company when getting their infusion, please do.  It is the hardest and loneliest part and no matter what they say, having you there is only a plus.  I can only recall a handful husbands or dads ever sitting there with the woman getting her infusion in all the times I’ve been there.  When I talk to other husbands, I always tell them to be there 3 times as much as you ever have been.  You will never have that chance to show your love and how thankful you are for their being a part of your life.  When life gives you hurdles, you just need to jump higher!

After the visit last month, I told my wife that sometimes I feel guilty that we’ve put the cancer behind us.  She admitted she felt guilty for not celebrating the 5 year milestone.  I told her maybe we haven’t forgotten but choose to push forward.  That day we saw Dr. Deb Cohan.  Deb chose to have the same surgery as my wife.  They both are daughters of 2-time breast cancer survivors and thus were very pragmatic about their situations.

The video above is of Deb holding a little flash mob before her surgery at the Center. Ironically for me it is the first time I’d seen the exact surgery room where my wife had her surgery. What spirit.  We all fight through our fears and challenges in different ways.  Deb got some flack for her celebration, but I think she chose to show her spirit externally to let people know what kind of fight she needed to put up.  It is a great reminder to me of the fight and spirit my mother and wife have shown and continue to show me and my children every day.

Life is a battle no matter how you look at it.  Approach it with zest and spirit even when facing your biggest fears.

Friday Afternoons with Mom

17 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Leaving your heart

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aging, birthday, Burma, cancer, grandmothers, life, survivor, travel

IMG_1011[1]

Last Friday I was driving home early from a downtown meeting when I decided to take a slight detour to visit my mom.  It was her birthday after all and I had yet to wish her a Happy Birthday.  There was a risk though.  She might not be home.  My mother is not your ordinary mid-70s grandmother widow who sits at home in front of the television knitting sweaters for her grandchildren or even baking cookies for her neighbors.  Catching my mother at home is like finding a gambler in his room in Vegas.

I was lucky. And she let me know it.  I caught her on her iPad (I don’t even own one) checking out movie times and booking dinner reservations.  “I’m going to dinner with Pat and Ford, then we’re going to see Oz, the Great Wizard, and then play cards.  Want to come along?”  Oh no I couldn’t burden my mother and drag down all her fun!  The idea of dropping in on my “elderly mother” so she wouldn’t be lonely was preposterous.  I was the lonely one looking for the comfort of knowing that she is perfectly fine.

“Thanks for the birthday wishes.  What are you doing here?” she asked.  I guess it was not obvious.  My mom is so hip she would rather get a Facebook birthday post on her wall.  She wouldn’t want me to waste paper or spend money on stamps.

We finally settled down as she showed me some of her new projects and she handed me some old papers that belonged to my dad.  She became a little somber at the thought of my dad who has been gone for over 7 years now. “I miss James”, she said unprompted.  I do too, but somehow I feel she’s moved on a little better than me and my siblings.  My dad was the ultimate provider.  I remember him visiting his 90-year-old mother in Chinatown after leaving his dental office downtown every day.  He’d check in with her and she’d give him some strange Chinese medicine or dish to give to his family. A mother of 8 children who basically raised them herself in a small 1-bedroom apartment, she still looked after her own despite her son trying to take care of her.  My dad married a similar woman.

My mom, after her brief, moment of reflection pulled out a map.  “So when am I taking you guys to China?”  My mom wants to introduce my wife and kids to their (kids, not wife) Asian ancestry.  There is no other one better to do this.  My parents used to leave us kids home and venture off to China where my dad would lead tours for a month at a time and come back with the very first Walkman ( you remember the one that you clipped to your belt and pull down your pants because it was so heavy?).  I would have loved to have traveled with my grandfather to China, so giving my children the opportunity to do this with their only living Asian grandparent would be a real treat.  Then she said continued, “Don’t worry your dad and I will pay.” Darn, there she goes trying to take care of me again when I am supposed to take care of her.  Of course she had to bring in my departed dad into the picture.  Yes, the great provider is still taking care of us from the heavens and she invoked his spirit knowing I would protest otherwise.

I told her we’d discuss money later, but she continued, “Your dad left me a nice pension, it’s okay, he worked 6 days a week for you kids, not for me. I’ll go to Disney with your sister and her family.  Stop worrying about me.”

Worry?  This is a 70-year-old lady world traveler who readily tells people her zodiac sign before she tells you her name.  She’s a 10 year survivor of breast cancer, a widow, a grandmother of four, a sister to seven brothers, and avid sports fan.  She then hands me a slip of paper. It is a list of chores (pick up the paper and water the flowers) “Don’t forget my itinerary.  I leave for Burma on Friday.”

“What?”  Okay, how many have people have a mom like my mom at her age saying that she is off to Burma?

“Remember Shelley?  I’m going with her mom.  She lost her husband last year and wants to go.  It will be good for her.  Did you know that Burma is one of the last countries to adopt the internet?  In fact the Chairman of Google is going there as well to help explain to them.”  There goes my mother telling me more about the internet than I already know.  Needless to day, she will be the person I call when I have wireless router issues in my own home.

I remind her that Burma is a 3rd World country despite all the pictures of the great food that she will be eating.  She shoves photo after photo in front of me as I tell her to watch herself.  She’s not listening.  I tell her that she doesn’t need her iPhone, but she tells me how she is going to load up the new Justin Timberlake album so she can listen to it on her trip.  Suddenly I am 10 years old again and I’m getting a lecture from my father.  Only this time it is my mom.  She has taken over his role.  She is the great provider.

“Erik, you have to stop worrying about me.  I’ve survived cancer.  I have a second chance.  I’m not going to die without taking care of those around me.  I have a second chance to give everyone my attention.  I’m paying for your trip because I don’t want you and your wife to worry about the money. You have wonderful kids. You can’t be so thrifty that you don’t give your kids a great experience.  I’m helping your uncle because he needs my help (her 60-year-old younger brother needs support and my mother checks on him weekly and gives him a small weekly allowance).  Your dad (there she goes again invoking the spirit of the great provider) and I wanted you to have more than we had and now we want to help you give your kids more than you had.”

Damn, my mother is so right.  I laugh at her strength.  Her willpower and zest for life is amazing.  She is the patron saint of positive attitude.  Sometimes I think she is so naive.  I think she thinks her eldest son is too jaded.  She knows I’m going to worry about her on her trip, but reads my mind, “Don’t worry, will you stop? The worst thing that will happen to your mother on this trip is that I will burn my mouth on all those spicy foods.”

She gives me a big hug and we go on to talk about me, my kids, my family, her family, my friends, her friends, and what seems like her expected travel itinerary for the next decade.  Maybe she should join Dennis Rodman on his next trip to North Korea.  Two hours go by and I’m now late for dinner with my family, but I suddenly feel like my dad and his mother as she gives me a bag full of cookies and teas, and other assorted refrigerated products to bring home, “I don’t want these to be sitting around while I’m gone.”

The next evening we go out to dinner to celebrate her birthday and my daughter’s birthday.  Like the way she will suddenly disappear and travel to the other side of the world, my brother-in-law notices she is trying to pay for her own birthday dinner.  She is frustrated when her intercepts and stops her.  When she gets back to the table, she’s not happy.  I smile at her and she tells me that we are all like our father.  I smile back and tell her that she is like him too.  The great provider.

2013 – The Year of Faith, Dreams & Desire

31 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Sports & Life

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cancer, desire, dreaming, Inspiration, motivation

Rudy“You must take action to reach the thing you desire” – Rudy Ruettiger

Okay its 2013 and I had better make my first blog entry before the first month is over.  As usual the year has begun with a furious pace.  Annually I attend the Affiliate Summit, a marketing convention primarily for online entrepreneurs.  More importantly the 4 day venture to Las Vegas is filled with pats on the back for a job well done and celebrating with friends.  For me I use it to catch up but to start executing the plan for the coming year.  I also use it to find inspiration.  Inspiration for work and for life.  The convention has had a great track record for me when it comes to inspiration and motivation.  Last year there was Eric Thomas, the hip hop preacher who found inspiration and desire to motivate others to stand up and make a difference.  This year it was Rudy Ruettiger, the real life story of a nobody with a dream, a lot of heart, and a strong belief in himself.  These Rocky-esque stories remind me of my own dreams, my own desires, and my own passions.  Don’t give up on them, don’t forget them, and finally don’t forget to act on them when you have the chance.  Although I had seen the movie version of Rudy’s story many times, I was still moved.  Some might think it cornball, but he is where he is and we were paying to listen to him.  Afterwards I told Rudy thanks for reminding us all to dream.  He grabbed my hand and said, “ Dream BIG, but more importantly dreams can’t come true if you don’t do something to make them happen”.

SONY DSCWell it has been a couple weeks and my promise to keep writing has been nagging at me.  I have all this content and haven’t made the time and effort to start putting the fingers to the keypad.  Part of it is my work which has been so overwhelming that 5 hours of sleep each night almost seems like too much.  Things have to change and I will need to set some time aside, find personal inspiration, and make it work.

So here I am on a plane from Seattle to San Francisco with a crying baby screaming in my ear over my ipod as I am writing my first entry of the year.  Why now?  Why not work on a work plan that I need for work?  Well as I sat in the airport with my colleague at the airport for a dinner, I found myself seated to another inspirational figure in my life, Dave Dravecky.  Here is a guy who had a great gift, a God-given gift, and then it was taken away from him by cancer.  My son never saw the left-handed pitcher of the San Francisco pitch before he lost his arm, but I’ve told him the story of that day I watched Dave’s arm snap as he threw his last pitch ever.  My son is a left-handed pitcher in San Francisco’s little league and despite having about 50 bobbleheads on his shelf, the one that sits right there on his desk is Dave Dravecky’s.  As he cradled his iphone in his right hand talking to his grandchild his wife glanced over at me and I we started talking and I told her how I thought she was married to a great man.  Today Dave is employed by the San Francisco Giants marketing team and was in Seattle to help give the Hutch Award from the Hutchinson Cancer Research Center to Barry Zito for his year where he “exemplified fighting spirit and competitive desire”.

dave_cardThe Giants organization is a leader in online sports and community marketing and their work with Dave and the community is such a great example of people who have gone beyond their excellence on the field and used it as a platform for making the world a better place.  Dave got off the phone and reached over to shake my hand and talked to my colleague.  I told Dave how much he has touched people and in different ways.  When my wife was recovering from Breast Cancer, I told her Dave’s story.  Dave has never used his loss of his arm as an excuse.  He has never sounded bitter in public about the bump in the road life gave him.  He has said it is an opportunity and a message to everyone to have faith.

Dave was also a past winner of the Hutch Award.

Dreams. Faith. Action.  And this is how my story begins in 2013.

P.S. 80 minutes into this flight and the kid is still screaming up a storm.

Cancerversary, Orange Hair, Best Round Ever and Opening Week

09 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Sports & Life

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cancer, Giants, golf, survivor

9/9/2012

I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me. – Suzanne Summers, Cancer Survivor

 

                       

Cancer Survivor Race For a Cure

One of the biggest questions in life is not about whether you should put the past behind you, but WHEN you should put your past behind you.  We sometimes hold on to things too long and miss the opportunity to enjoy new things for fear of not showing support or thoughts for those events and people that have marked your life forever.

 

Today was just one of those sobering days. The fact that it is two days before the 11th anniversary of 9/11 as well as the 13th birthday of our son only made it slightly more complicated for my family. Most importantly for us, 9/9 marked the four year anniversary of my wife’s battle with cancer. Cancerversary is a name given to the day of your surgery to remove cancer from your body. While five years is the true date to really start to believe you are in remission, we have truly chosen to move on from cancer in our life. We dwelled on the battle for the last few years, but once my wife started being removed from a few drugs this year we felt like moving on and getting on with our lives would be the best.

 

Ironically, just a few weeks ago we ran into my wife’s oncologist at my cousin’s wedding (my cousin works for her). I realized that even she (the oncologist) tries to stay away from the personal side of cancer when she’s out of the clinic. It was the first time our children met her and I noticed how she just tried to keep her distance. I’m sure she’s seen so many happy stories go bad that the pain can get personal and interfere with her ability to stay even-keeled.  Well I just don’t think we can ever run from cancer. It is all around us. Coincidentally for my wife, the Komen Race for the Cure run fell on this day. My wife and daughter ran. It is such a sisterhood. As each survivor runs across the finish line, you notice the applause is so heartwarming for people you don’t even know.

 

Seeing my wife after the race, her face was glowing. I think we realized that we can’t walk away from cancer. We can move on, but it will always be a part of our lives. Unbeknownst to my wife, my daughter, son and I had a nice little chat about how special the day is and how lucky we are that their mother is still with us. We talked about not making it a big deal, but I could see how special that day was for my kids.  Later on my daughter pulled me aside and said that she was glad to be running alongside her mom.  I’m sure my wife was just as happy for the same reason.

 

For me, I played on the par 3 course I grew up on. I’ve played it 100s of times in my life and finally broke a milestone score!

 

My son and I also celebrated Orange weekend….watching the Giants stretch their lead over the rival Dodgers.

 

And finally we watched my daughter and her team launch their soccer season with a fierce 3-0 shutout.

Golden Gate Park Golf

Beat LA!

Yes, life moves on.

The Breast Cancer Video I Never had to Post

02 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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Breast, cancer, dying, living legacy, mom, parenting

Tonight I came across this video below.  Support the National Breast Cancer Coalition.  This video is so sad.

It brings me back to my dark days 4 years ago thinking about what I was going to have to tell my children about their mother and worrying about what I’d have to do if I should become ill before my own children  became adults.  I am fortunate that my wife’s diagnosis was not as bad, but once you belong to the community of breast cancer survivors and caregivers, you are part of the community forever.

Amazingly, Genentech saw this video and are allowing her to get a drug that is on trial,  She won’t be cured, but the drug should prolong her life.

Inspire to be Inspired – Breast Cancer stories

26 Monday Sep 2011

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Leaving your heart

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breast cancer, cancer, charity, Inspiration, komen, komensf, race for the cure, san Francisco, survivors

This morning my family participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for breast cancer.  I have to admit that having dedicated my runs to breast cancer research over the last 3 years, I wasn’t necessarily excited about running with my family as part of the team put together by the schoolthat our kids attend.  I like running alone with my thoughts, but this run is for a good cause and breast cancer runs are an event that I encourage everyone to experience.

Each year I forget what a scene it is.  Survivors of breast cancer are given special shirts that help them stand out.    As my kids and I picked up our regular shirts we saw my wife go to the “Survivors” tent to pick up her shirt.  The hug she was given by the volunteer and the clapping that people gave her hit me.  It reminded me how serious this all is and how lucky we are.  Everywhere, teams lined up for their group photo.  That is where you saw the numbers.  We counted 5 in the Bank of America group, 6 in the Oracle group, 3 in our school’s group.  Another 4 in the Pottery Barn group.  The numbers were there.  1 in 8 people there had survived cancer.

My son and I ran the 5K race leaving my wife and another mom survivor after she told us to run ahead.  As we ran past a survivor or one passed us the cheering got loud.  We completed the race and waited at the finish line for my wife.  It is such a rare race.  People wait by the finish line more than any other race and cheer each other on.  Most runners leave, but no at this race.  As you see that special pink shirt that says “Survivor”, you see their fist pump, the tears and the smiles on their face and you cheer and clap until your hands hurt.  And then for me I see my wife running across the line holding my daughters ahdna and her friend’s hand up high and smiling.  My son put his arm around my waist.  We let everyone else cheer.  It made me proud and inspired as a participant. Sounds weird, but that’s how I felt.  In a way, I felt bad that I had almost not wanted to participate for my own selfish reasons.

Pink Balloon arch by the Ferry building start line

Yes I was inspired by my wife as well as the hundreds of other survivors who crossed the finish line today.  But more importantly I was inspired by the outpouring of community that I saw as people encouraged complete strangers and urged them on.  One lady said , “This race is nothing.  I kicked cancer’s butt” as  local reporter approached her as she crossed the finish line.  The power of encouragement drove them.  My wife said the outpouring of encouragement every step of the way wouldn’t let her stop.

Probably the best part of the Komen Race For the Cure is the celebration at the end where survivors walk one by one through arches of pink flowers  and are serenaded with a round of applause from all participants.   As each individual survivor emerges, the roar is amazing and you can almost see their stories.  There were women in their 80s.  There was a young teenage girl.  There were women of all ethnicities.  As woman after woman emerges, there is the build up of emotion and you wonder if it will ever end.
Then everyone breaks out and sings “I will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor (?).  To me the song is wrong.  I think they should be playing Eye of the Tiger BY Survivor.  These women are not survivors.  They are tough fighters.  Just like Rocky.  They inspire us to run and never ever give up because we know where we came from.

Thanksgiving – Remembering to be Thankful

26 Friday Nov 2010

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, San Francisco - Leaving your heart

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cancer, Jill Costello, lung cancer, san Francisco, Sports Illustrated, Thankful, Thanksgiving

“When you’re down on your luck, you gotta do it,” –
Andrew W.K.’s feel-good song Got to Do It
 
After my wife found she had cancer a couple years ago, Thanksgiving took a different meaning for me.  I felt guilty that it took her illness for me to appreciate the holiday for what it is, but I do now take the time to remind myself and my kids about how thankful we should be at this time of year for what we have rather than next month when people start wishing for what they don’t have.  Tonight I sat on my brother’s couch after dinner, half napping as the tryptophan kicked in.  Fighting the lure of a nap, I picked up the recent Sports Illustrated and started to read an article about Jill Costello, a local girl from San Francisco with a big heart who graduated from the University of California at Berkeley this past Spring and as the coxswain for the women’s rowing team, led them to second place in the National Championships.

Jill Costello - former Cal rowing star

I had read briefly about Jill back in May in the local newspaper after I heard about her through the UCSF Medical Cancer newsletter that my wife gets. Jill had been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer although she did not smoke.

Although I hadn’t kept up with her story, as I read through the article I felt myself tearing up.  I knew what was coming.  I looked over at my wife smiling and laughing with my family and felt truly blessed.

Thanksgiving is truly THE family holiday of the year.  It isn’t long enough for most people to travel far  away.  It isn’t about presents or religion.  It is about celebrating your place and those around you and being thankful  for what you have.  Sometimes hearing stories about the loss of others who really are special people reminds me of this.

I want to give a special thanks to my friend Donald Wilhelm who we lost this year.  A good guy who inspired many and left us too soon.  In the article in Sports Illustrated: The Courage of Jill Costello, we read a great story about another inspiring person who can teach us to appreciate what we have today.  Although the article did not mention it, Jill lost her battle after graduation, but her strength inspired many to give more than you receive.

As her coach so succinctly put it at Jill’s funeral, “There are givers and there are takers, and you want to be more giver than taker. She never complained. She gave far more than she ever took. She was an inspiration to all of us. I hope when we face something as daunting as this, we can show some of the courage that she showed.”

Remember or Move On?

26 Tuesday Oct 2010

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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breast cancer, breast cancer awareness month, cancer, Donald Wilhelm, survivors, this time's a charm

This Time's A Charm

It has been a while since I posted here.  It doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about what to post.  I’ve been thinking, but I’ve also been living.  Right after my last post, my friend Donald passed after losing his battle with cancer.  What do you say when the best fighter loses their fight?  I told him once I felt guilty that since my wife was feeling okay that I felt like maybe it was time to move on.  I respected people like him, Lance Armstrong and others who continue to raise awareness and also inspire others in such a public way.  He told me there is no guilt and no shame. 

I’ve always been taught not to forget your past.  Don’t forget where you’ve come from.  Remember the journey and all the people that helped you along the way.  The cancer that my wife had and all the people who helped us won’t be forgotten.  They are special people,  but when the memory is an unplesant one, it is nice to not have to think about it.  As it was my wife’s illness, I think I take her lead.  She is moving on and I can tell would rather not talk about it if she can.

The problem is the disease still won’t go away.  You can’t escape it.  As I mentioned, right after my last post Donald, Wilhelm died, then my wife’s good friend found out she has breast cancer and two more relatives admitted that they have it as well. 

So maybe we can’t move on.  You can live, but you have to live with those memories and help inspire others.  We don’t have to inspire others by helping them directly with their fight.  You can help by showing them how to keep moving, keep breathing, keep smiling. 

And as a message to Amy, the wife of Donald, you will find your way to move on.  Do not feel as though you need to prolong his message.  It will always be there……”don’t ever give up.”

The New Decade: Looking Forward and Barely Over our Shoulder

08 Friday Jan 2010

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

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2010, cancer, decade, forecasting, george clooney, good life, Happy New Year, life, living, onerepublic, running, Up in the air, world

The slower we move the faster we die.   Make no mistake, moving is living.

– George Clooney, Up in the Air

It’s irnoic that line is the one that will be remembered most from the first big movie in 2010 or in this decade.  Maybe that is why I’m running so much these days.

The new decade is here and what a decade the last one was.  It is easy to look just back at 2009, but that would be a short-sighted and very depressing one.  Wrought with health issues and a world economic crisis, even looking back 2 years might not even be what we need to be able to look back on the past decade with perspective.  As I ran down 2009 through a series of runs through the Streets of San Francisco I tried to reflect a little on the past year, but kept pulling more memories out .  As I looked farther back, I began to realize that I didn’t just need resolutions for the coming year (don’t like resolutions anyway).  I needed to look ahead to the whole next decade!   I haven’t written in a bit just because I wasn’t sure as to what to say as the thoughts kept flooding in.  “Just put it to paper and let the rhythm flow without thinking” (to paraphrase the words of the lead character in Finding Forrester).  So as I put my running shoes and headphones on and listened to my new favorite song, Good Life by One Republic, what I saw was a past that is shaping our future in new ways and some that we could never have imagined.

There’s so much to think about when looking back and trying to eliminate the macro-factors of societal changes and focus on only the things you really can control.  For me it was about family, health, work, and friends.  How can I proactively move towards making sure I better control these issues in the new decade.

In order to look ahead at the next decade and what it should look like for me, I found myself back in time in 1999 as we were selling our house and i was getting back into the venture business.  Yeah, remember the Y2K craze and how much were were going to have to evolve when the computers came crashing down?  It was a whole cottage industry for a doom and gloom that never came.  We’re still here though.  I think I had 3 jobs this past decade and hopefully won’t do that much switching in the next decade.  I would never have expected in 1999 that I would end up doing what I do today, but my current job is one I’ve been at longer than any before.  Is this my legacy?

Personally in 1999 I was a new dad in San Francisco wondering how I could move to a bigger place in the suburbs.  Well we did do that, but we moved back to San Francisco.  Not before we became ice cream moguls leaving a mark with a franchise in Marin County as well as purchasing another one in San Francisco.  Anyway, now I’m a seasoned dad with a 10 year old and a 7 year old.  So what does that mean?  At the end of this decade I will just about be an empty nester as my two kids will hopefully be off to college.  It doesn’t leave much time for  me to think about how to afford their education and prepare for how I will prepare for my retirement if something like that would ever exist for me.  If I thought my children dominated my life this past decade it will surely be a decade of building what will be a lifelong relationship.  Maybe I shouldn’t even mention retirement as it won’t happen until after 2020 for sure.

The past decade also came with health issues as well.  Losing a parent (which I could have predicted as my dad was already in poor health) was hard to take but reminded me of how important a parent-child relationship is and how fortunate I was to have my children meet their grandfather and develop a deep relationship with my own mother.  Emotional preparation for the potential loss of another grandparent in this decade would be  something I could easily see in my future.  Cancer was something I never would have expected to be part of the last decade.  In fact it was a large part with my mother and then followed by my wife and friends.  Bad Health is never something you really plan or prepare for.  I don’t know how much the next decade will be interrupted by health issues but age will not come without some aches and pains for sure.  I have already started preparing myself.  The last two years of training have built my stamina to a high level.  I maybe not as strong or fast as I used to be, but if not getting sick at all for the past 18 months is any indication, I’ve definitely been fortunate in keeping healthy and maybe if I just keep moving…..

I don’t need to write much about friends and extended family and my expectations there given some recent posts, but this past decade has been about revitalizing past relationships.  I only expect that to continue.  It seems to be a natural processs as you get older and start to reminisce about times gone by.  These are the people who will remind you about your past someday so its probably good to keep them close so that they remember it accurately.  For sure their memories are already declining, not to mention their deteriorating eye sight.  It just makes me wondering as the baby boomers will be moving into their 50s and 60s, will those people still be wanting to deal with small screens on their cell phones and buttons that don’t work well with arthritic fingers?  Remember that this decade started with us using PDAs with a stylus.  Now we just push things around with our thumbs.  Will everything be voice-activated over the next decade?  Will we see the first wave of brain cancer resulting from overuse of cell phones?

We now have a black President.  Will the next decade bring a female President?  An Asian President?  A Hispanic President? A Gay one?  Maybe 2 of those.  We talk about national security as getting tighter given the terrorism that has started in the US.  Is it possible this could get worse?  Will the idea of being “green” work.  What would people have thought if you used that term back in 1999?  They would have thought you wanted to be a vegetarian and were giving up meat.  For me all of this just heightens the urgency to show my kids parts of the world that they might never ever get the chance to see or at least the way they could see it today.  The world is changing rapidly.  How fast?  The eco-system even in the SF Bay area was so drastic that one minute the sea lions that inhabit our piers had peaked at over 2 thousand last November yet today there are about 6.  The plankton and the water temperatures have caused them all to move to areas up North where they can find more herring.  A migration that grew over a 20 year period just disappeared in a matter of months.  Will Alaska still be cold in 2020?  Will there still be arctic glaciers?

As I continue my running regimen I’m not running from the past but running toward the future.  It isn’t necessarily a bright one or even a better decade than the past.  It will have its own challenges and we can only prepare ourselves for what will be more of the same yet with more intensity.  Of course, we have a chance to shape our own path by planning it before the future comes and dictates our actions.

Perhaps while this decade might not mark the beginning of a new millenium that it might end up being much more important than the past decade  This may be the decade where we take control of our destiny and start to dictate what history will be.  Maybe Live Strong won’t be an attitude for fighting cancer, but to beat Father Time and prevent him from catching us.

For me the answer is to not prepare for the end, but prepare for the future.  Don’t look back too far, but just remember to keep looking forward so that what you left behind stays there and what you want to take with you in the future moves with you.  For me that is simple. 10 years from now I want to be standing there proudly with my wife at my side as we watch our son thrive in college as he prepares for the real world and a career of his choosing and our daughter moves off to college strongly independent such that her parents will know that she is prepared for that next stage of her life.  Me? I’ll be cleaning out their bedrooms figuring out how I can convert their rooms into my own 3D home theater and 24 hr. fitness club.

A Warm San Francisco Holiday To All

22 Tuesday Dec 2009

Posted by route53 in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Breast, cancer, family, holidays, running, san Francisco, travel

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays Everyone,

Before everyone takes off on their vacations from their virtual world, I just thought I’d wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwaanza, etc.  Please be safe if you are traveling this season!

As I pushed through the chilling temperatures and blustery winds of San Francisco during my run last night I kept reminding myself of those cold December nights I’ve spent in New York City, Chicago, and Pittsburgh.  Nothing will ever compare to those cold bitter nights when I wore long underwear under my wool suits and wondered why I left my “City by the Bay”. I do remember telling myself that I would remember those days so I would appreciate San Francisco that much more when I would eventually return.   Although cold, my run was dry and I ran down the festively lit shopping areas of Sacramento St, Fillmore St., California, and Clement St. distracting myself with the observations of the decorations people had in their windows.

While the glittery lights were dazzling and the quietness of the air still reminded me of how our economy is not quite back up to speed, the most warming images of my run were of the people. 

First, there was the elderly couple walking together with their arms around each other as they left their party at Spruce Restaurant (http://www.sprucesf.com). They stopped and kissed saying “I love you” and touching their foreheads together in the middle of the sidewalk as I dodged them.  It was a split second of our paths crossing but it was a beautiful image.

Second, there were the two inebriated young ladies in their short cocktail dresses stumbling out of the Elite Cafe (http://www.theelitecafe.com/) before crashing to the ground.  I say crashing because they fell backwards into me as I ran behind them.  Fortunately I caught one before she hit her head on one of the tables outside. They were inebriated because as the cabbie and I helped them to their feet, neither of them could pronounce their destination.  I laughed when she said they were going to New York.  A great guy, the cabbie, a little Frenchman in his beret and scruffy clothes had me and one of the waiters watch him as he helped one girl open her purse to find her address. She kissed his scruffy face as he pushed her back into the cab.  “Welcome to Christmas on the Barbary Coast”, he said as he tipped his cap to us while mentioning one of the many long-gone nicknames of San Francisco.  I think I ran a whole another mile before the whole incident washed behind me, turning towards home.  The cab driver reminded me of the kindness of people at this time of year.

As I passed by San Francisco’s only 24 hour Starbucks in Laurel Village (yes I love running by it at night just so that I can get a whiff of the caffeine aroma) a bunch of Fire Engine’s raced by me.  Looking for an alternate route, I followed their sirens.  A Portable Potty had been set ablaze nearby.  This has been the work of arsons as dozens have been set on fire over the last year.

Not wanting to end my run on a negative note, I continued on and started  to notice a pattern that is so familiar this time of year.  I had been seeing it over the a past week as cars and taxis pull up in front of homes and the dwellers come out to greet and hug a family member returning home.  The tears of joy and happiness really signify what this season is about and while the images weren’t exactly Norman Rockwell-esque, they told the story.  The story of family and friends coming together.  I even saw a soldier returning home a couple weeks ago in full gear as his mother screamed when she opened the door (adorned with a yellow ribbon).

All of these images (including the fiery portable toilet) told the story of 2009.  Maybe they weren’t my story, but they were nice ones.

2009 will be just that for me.  “A Nice One”.  I’ll definitely take that after 2008.  I needn’t look much further than 2008 to remember what was happening last year as my wife was recovering from her second surgery in 3 months and we scheduled ourselves for a very low key Christmas with only enough fanfare to keep our kid’s spirits high.  Just 365 days ago I sat by her bedside making sure she’d be okay just to get up and deal with Christmas.  While 2009 was no picnic, and we did deal with two more minor surgeries, life today compared to last year couldn’t be much better healthwise.

The holiday is often on its long tail as we’ve already had two family gatherings, a work party and a large bash at a friend’s home yet we are still 3 days shy of Christmas.  We still have two more family gatherings to go to.  Such is the life of the fragmented world and family.  As I sit here in my den, I know of local friends spending the holiday in Hawaii, Argentina, Spain, France, England, Italy & Brazil just to name those places not on this continent.  They all sound enticing…. the Champs Elysees on Christmas?  How magical does that sound!?

Well San Francisco is where we remain and where we will keep our hearts this Christmas!  No snow and no sand!  The image above is from  Sara Showalter, (www.sarashowalter.com) or @gidget on Twitter.  A great local artist, the image was used for our holiday card this year. If you are looking for an artist or photographer, I highly recommend her.  And the best thing about her?  She is a diehard San Francisco Giants fan!

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