“Don’t worry, you just have to let go”
Every day we reach those milestones. As parents we look for new ones every day. As caregivers we help people cross new paths. Today was a simple one. Just crossing the street. Yes, today our son crossed the street for the first time by himself. As a parent I watched the whole thing and felt so proud. Unfortunately my wife was not so happy. I told her she was going to have to learn to let go and know that this was a great chance to learn especially under the watch of a parent.
Well this might seem trivial to some, but I think it is a learning experience for both me and my wife. She has always been from a family that is very conservative and controlling. It is a tendency she tries to avoid. Although she admitted that what my son did was fine, she was still hyper-critical. I reminded her of how her own parents invaded her life as she got into her 20s and how she hated it. I told her she had better learn to let go before her children not tell her when they did something for fear of being nagged to death. In fact i reminded her that her our son is very similar to me and that I have been known to go my own way without telling my wife when I fear her overmanaging a situation. I told her that I don’t want our children to be the same way.
I’ve been thinking about it and I myself have to learn to let go. I have to stop treating my wife’s condition like she’s going to break. Although I’m not blocking my wife from returning to normal. I have been jumping to do things for her and need to let her get used to doing things on her own again. I am preventing her healing process from accelerating. Baby steps at first like crossing the street but I have to make sure she has that chance to spread her wings as wide as she feels comfortable. I asked her if this was an issue and she said it wasn’t but understood how I was feeling and told me that she was okay and ready to get on with her recovery.
I GUESS LIFE GOES ON..at least for another couple weeks until her next surgery. She did mention that she talked to another mom from the school who just found out that she has cancer too. Turns out that she has the same surgeon that my wife and mother had. Pretty small world and quite amazing.
Well that’s me. Signing off and letting go.