Tag Archives: skin-sparing

The Last Day – Preparing for Breast Cancer Surgery

08 Monday Sep 2008

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“I’m with you, you’re stuck with me”

The day before surgery there is nothing else you can do.  I think I had more questions than my wife.  You just go through the procedures at the hospital and then learn about a million more things about the surgery.  The surgery is tomorrow at 7am.

We had three appointments today.  Good thing I went.  It was just a whole lot of information and stuff that you wouldn’t want to go through alone.  I was sitting there looking around in the waiting room noticing 20+ women by themselves and only two husbands.  I couldn’t imagine leaving my wife to do that without me there.  The first appointment at 9am was to get the blood work.  It was also a nice meeting with the anaesthesiologist and nurse practitioner.  It was a very calm and relaxing meeting in which we made sure there weren’t allergies or history of complications.  They give you a special soap to use the night before when you take a shower.  They also recommend no eating after midnight and to take an Adavan before you go to bed and when you wake in the morning to take the edge off.  When we get there they will give you a cocktail to get you drowsy and then make some markings on your body where the surgery will be.

The will then take her to surgery where she will be given Propaphal (sp?) which has basically replaced the truth serum anasthesia that they used to give.

At 11am we had our quickest appointment of the day, the visit with the nuclear medicine team.  They injected her directly where the cancer is with a radioactive injection that will will follow her drainage to her sentinel lymph nodes.  This is so the surgeon can use a Geiger counter type of device to find the nodes and take them away for a pathology study.  Within 15 minutes they will know if there is anything in those initial nodes and if they will have to take more nodes.  This nuclear medicine has a half life of 6 hours so must be done the day of or the day before the surgery.

At 1pm we got the final meeting out of the way.  The pre-op appointment with the head nurse.  It was informative including drainage information, pillows to take home, samples of the expanders that will be inserted and finally samples of saline and silicone breast implants.  Pretty amazing I must say.  I think I had more questions than my wife, but the advice was all good.  One Big piece of knowledge.  My wife’s surgery is called “A Total Skin Sparing Mastectomy” , so there you have it.

A couple of good reminders:  No ice to reduce swelling!  Observe the 90 degree rule and not raise your arms above your head, and don’t worry about showering for a couple days after you get home.  Also, you are allowed to take Tylenol with Adavan.

It was a draining day and despite all our preparation, we learned so much more.  There is an information overload going on and my mind is racing.  Fortunately she is already asleep.  Tomorrow will be a big day for both of us.  I just hope I don’t forget anything last minute!

Stand Up 2 Cancer (4 days to go) – Final meeting with Reconstruction Surgeon

06 Saturday Sep 2008

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“Be your own miracle”

– From “Stand Up” by Beyonce Knowles

Four days to go and the reminders seem to be all around us.  There were women walking in all shades of pink around the city in their Walk against Breast Cancer.  Our daughter asked why mommy was waiving at them,  “Because I am one of them and they are walking for me”, she said.  Then tonight was a major event for the organization Standup2cancer.org.   I think it was a landmark event.  It took just an hour but it was a fundraiser to bring ALL cancer research together.  Some crazy stats:

  • Cancer takes so many forms and one person in America dies from cancer every minute.  
  • Every other person in this world will have some form of cancer 
  • 500,000 Americans will die of cancer this year (1500 each day)

I actually watched the show alone as it was uplifting to the point of shedding a tear.  My wife is going through so many emotions right now we agreed to Tivo it and let her just watch it after the surgery.

I also didn’t go with my wife to her last meeting with the reconstruction surgeon.  I just thought it better that she ask her own questions and give her my questions on paper (of course she didn’t ask them).  I mostly worried about her balance and how steady she might be although I know most people are walking around the next day.  He had some good recommendations about relieving the pain and making sure not to let the drains hang too low as that is why they are painful.  He said that ticket holders (hey my profession comes in handy) are great to put them in  so they don’t pull on your skin.  He also said that the tissue expanders aren’t as painful as some people think.   It was a relatively short meeting so I think it came out okay.  My wife had a few other personal questions about the recovery but the doctor seems to have given her all the right answers or at least the ones she wanted to hear.  He told her that most of his work would be done two weeks after the surgery and just to watch under the bandages for any swelling or infections (redness).

At the end of the day we are exhausted once again, but it always is nice to catch up.  It has become our daily ritual to check in with each other and see where we are mentally.  She’s still a bit anxious, but more anxious to get this cancer out of her body and move on.  Me, I feel like I’ve been managing the emotions of two people and she knows that.  I told her that I’d rather be on the table next Tuesday unconscious because I don’t think I can spend 5 hours waiting around.  I’ll need to buy a new pair of running shoes.

"What are you thinking?" (5 days to go) – A Loving Fight

04 Thursday Sep 2008

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Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Benjamin Franklin, Inventor

Apple iTunes

I’ve been asked how I view this blog.  Well I view it as therapy as well as a resource for husbands with wives who have breast cancer.  I’m not the same as every husband and I know I am unashamedly more sensitive than most guys, but heck I need support too.  All of us do.  The problem is that guys in general don’t open up and tell you how they are doing or feeling.  In fact at yesterday’s meeting with the psychologist she offered an opportunity to attend a husband’s support group.  I don’t think I’m ready for that personally.  Also, contrary to popular belief, guys sitting around talking about their wife’s breasts just seems a bit peculiar.

In fact, this blog is a bit funny in that I’m actually finding this a great opportunity to speak my mind to strangers, yet when my cousin found my blog, I was a bit weirded out.  it got too personal.  I asked one of the other husband’s from school who has been a great resource and he said, “Yeah, I felt like everyone was staring at my wife’s chest for months.  I told myself she was now a priceless piece of art, the Mona Lisa.  People were now required to look at her through 2 pieces of bullet proof glass from a distance and pay an admission fee.”  We chuckled and he told me I’d get used to it and that all the craziness and drama would go away as soon as I reached Stage 2 (post Surgery) and Stage 1 (The Wait) was over.

As the days lead closer to the actual surgery, we are being inundated with appt. emails (as well as calls from our next two presidential candidates (McCain and Obama) and our awareness of everything “cancer” is showing up.  I notice the pink ribbons more, I notice more stories of other people with cancer.  In the restroom at the mall was a series of posters for Searchforthecause.org. Looking at my own community I thought about not only my mother and mother-in-law and realized that I have 6 women related to me (including cousins and aunts) who have been affected by breast cancer.  There are even more when I broaden my community to friends, neighbors and our school.  Then I saw this televised concert tomorrow on CBS featuring Beyonce and just diagnosed actress, Christina Applegate, along with cancer survivors Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong.  There is a new song called Stand up and you can buy it on iTunes to help benefit cancer research.

Apple iTunes

Yes, cancer seems all around us and I am having trouble focusing myself these days as well.  I’m definitely in a good state and need to revisit my benefits on what I want to get out of this.  There are definite gentle reminders in life to revisit your priorities and this is one of those times to do it.  As Ben Franklin, said, “Energy and Persistence”.  I have to get through it the next 5 days and we’ll be right there ready to start living a life of moving forward with new conviction.

“What are you thinking?” (5 days to go) – A Loving Fight

04 Thursday Sep 2008

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

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Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Benjamin Franklin, Inventor

Apple iTunes

I’ve been asked how I view this blog.  Well I view it as therapy as well as a resource for husbands with wives who have breast cancer.  I’m not the same as every husband and I know I am unashamedly more sensitive than most guys, but heck I need support too.  All of us do.  The problem is that guys in general don’t open up and tell you how they are doing or feeling.  In fact at yesterday’s meeting with the psychologist she offered an opportunity to attend a husband’s support group.  I don’t think I’m ready for that personally.  Also, contrary to popular belief, guys sitting around talking about their wife’s breasts just seems a bit peculiar.

In fact, this blog is a bit funny in that I’m actually finding this a great opportunity to speak my mind to strangers, yet when my cousin found my blog, I was a bit weirded out.  it got too personal.  I asked one of the other husband’s from school who has been a great resource and he said, “Yeah, I felt like everyone was staring at my wife’s chest for months.  I told myself she was now a priceless piece of art, the Mona Lisa.  People were now required to look at her through 2 pieces of bullet proof glass from a distance and pay an admission fee.”  We chuckled and he told me I’d get used to it and that all the craziness and drama would go away as soon as I reached Stage 2 (post Surgery) and Stage 1 (The Wait) was over.

As the days lead closer to the actual surgery, we are being inundated with appt. emails (as well as calls from our next two presidential candidates (McCain and Obama) and our awareness of everything “cancer” is showing up.  I notice the pink ribbons more, I notice more stories of other people with cancer.  In the restroom at the mall was a series of posters for Searchforthecause.org. Looking at my own community I thought about not only my mother and mother-in-law and realized that I have 6 women related to me (including cousins and aunts) who have been affected by breast cancer.  There are even more when I broaden my community to friends, neighbors and our school.  Then I saw this televised concert tomorrow on CBS featuring Beyonce and just diagnosed actress, Christina Applegate, along with cancer survivors Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong.  There is a new song called Stand up and you can buy it on iTunes to help benefit cancer research.

Apple iTunes

Yes, cancer seems all around us and I am having trouble focusing myself these days as well.  I’m definitely in a good state and need to revisit my benefits on what I want to get out of this.  There are definite gentle reminders in life to revisit your priorities and this is one of those times to do it.  As Ben Franklin, said, “Energy and Persistence”.  I have to get through it the next 5 days and we’ll be right there ready to start living a life of moving forward with new conviction.