Author Archives: route53

Don’t Bite the Social Hand that Feeds – The @Klout – astrophe

26 Wednesday Oct 2011

Posted by in Business - Affiliate Marketing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Okay, I confess to being a people watcher.  You know that game some couples play when they are bored and just make up stories about the people and things they observe?  Yeah the same game that Tina Fey and Steve Carell play in the movie, “Date Night”.

To me I guess that is part of the appeal of Social Media and social analytics.  Watching all these normal people and trying to figure out their story and what makes them tick.  Then apply that to marketing and competition and I am quite admittedly in statistical heaven.  This is how sites like http://hotornot.com got big when people used to rate people looks. It is also how Mark Zuckerberg got started with Facebook only this rating system is based on more than looks.  Why is he rated higher than me?  Why is she rated higher than her?  Why do people find him interesting?  You get the picture.  Now that people are putting their lives out there selectively on Linked In, Twitter, Facebook and Google +, the question of: “I wonder what [Insert Name Here]  is doing now?” is being answered with regularity.

Because of the rise in social interaction and personal content management, the idea of personal branding has become a larger topic on the web.  It is the opportunity for people to have the vanity plates and bumper stickers on their lives that they choose to have.  Yes I am a fan of the San Francisco Giants!  I watch reality TV! I drive a VW Beetle!  And then you can hide the things you don’t want people to see such as your age, the embarrassing name of your high school (Lick Wilmerding) and any other guilty pleasures in your life (the fact that you listen to Debbie Gibson and new Kids on the Block when you are depressed).

A few years back I worked for Fair Isaac, creators of the FICO score which tells potential lenders (mostly credit card issuers and auto financiers)  if you are credit worthy.  People started paying attention to their FICO scores.  Your FICO score was a handy thing to have, but it wasn’t something people openly shared.  It isn’t as if people go around sharing their salary information.

Klout Score Dashboard

Well enter the age of Social Metrics.  The simple math tells you how many people follow you on Twitter, how many people “like” you on Facebook, or how many people you are Linked to on LinkedIn.  Since not everyone plays on all of these social channels, we have the introduction of companies like Klout and PeopleBrowsr / Kred.  Both companies have admitted that they are in beta and that they are always working to improve the metrics around their scoring so sharp swings in scores are not unexpected.  People on Klout for example, have seen their score go up when they add new networks such as Google+ to the network.  If that adds a whole new set of friends and interactions to their overall social scene, then their score would likely see an irregular bump.  Klout is not perfect and people knew that.  Weight was heavily skewed towards Twitter activities, no real reasons were given for sudden shifts, people with lower scores were considered more advanced than others, people were considered influential about topics that they knew nothing about (see @QAQN and Gary Johnson).

Kred Dashboard

The art of scoring people’s social prowess is a tricky one.  Once you give people a little candy they can get addicted.  People learned that if you wanted to increase your score, you couldn’t just tweet a lot, you had to get people to mention you more.  You needed to create more links, retweet others posts (give them credit for good content), and not just use Klout as a channel for clogging the digital airwaves.  This gave way to Follow Fridays, Twitter Tuesdays, and such where people saw their scores rise.   It also saw that when you were inactive for a couple days for vacation or a holiday that your score took a dive.  Imagine!  You go on vacation and somehow you aren’t as important or influential to your followers!  Take a week off from your podcast or your blog and suddenly less people follow you?  Doesn’t the saying go something like “Absence makes the tweets grow fonder?” Well you get the picture.   Oh well, nobody is perfect.  Your score would dip a couple points and suddenly your score would jump again.

This morning Klout changed their scoring method.  It was of Google Pandaesque or Netflixesque proportions.  Suddenly it appears that the social behaviors that Klout was encouraging are now discounted.  It’s like telling your wife of 15 years that you like that she colors her hair blonde because it makes her look younger and then suddenly the next day you tell her that you think that brunettes have more fun!

The jury is still out but here is what we know:

  • Klout says they are being more transparent about what affects your score, but people are stil speculating on what actually made their score go up or down.  Was there more weight put on Facebook actions?  Were certain influence types now given more weight?
  • Klout gave a bell curve shaped diagram showing a pretty even distribution of scores going up or down.  Yet it seems that those who saw their score go down heavily outweighed those who saw a rise.
  • Even social media celebrities Scott Kleinberg (@Scottkleinberg), Katrina Hill (@actionchick), and Michael Brandvold (@michaelsb) who were once touted in Klout’s blog saw their scores go down by 8 points or more each.
  • It seems that those people who saw their scores rise were those who had scores in the teens, 20s and 30s.  People in the 50s through 70s and even 80s saw their scores decrease
  • People saw their True Reach score increase (this is a subscore that basically tells you how many people follow you) as it used to be discounted.
  • Assuming that their other subscore, Amplification, is a product of your Actions/True Reach many large podcasters and online conversationalists saw this score decrease significantly.  This score appears to be weighted more heavily than in the past when it comes to your overall Klout score.

Klout Distribution of Score Changes

Let’s take a step back a second.  Was Klout right in trying to make their scoring more accurate?  Definitely.  But we are a society looking for affirmation and the Klout score was the best proxy.  Scoring on a scale of 100 had people asking wondering if they are above average or passing the “test”.  Incidentally, Klout’s closest competitor, Kred, which is physically located on the other side of the block in an adjacent building scores people on a scale of 1000.  People following their Klout scores most heavily are bloggers and other social media early adopters.  The “Twitterati” if you will.  These were people are also the largest advocates of Klout and encouraging their friends to check out their scores.  At a recent social media conference I  overheard someone tell their friend kiddingly that they would let the other person follow them only if they had an acceptable Klout score.

The backlash has been predictable.  People woke up to find their scores dropped by 10% or more.  I received a tweet from @ActionChick (the ex-Klout star) saying “Those @Klout numbers are so wrong”.  People are claiming they will boycott. Others are claiming they’ll not get social media jobs when their interviewers ask and they tell them their score is below 50 (that’s a little dramatic).  Mostly, you’ll find people with scores in the 80s (that’s a B in school) with scores in the 60s now (that’s a D in school).  Nobody wants to get a low grade in the area they call themselves an expert.  Even moreso…nobody wants to be called a social failure, but that is what Klout is doing.   They created a monster and today that monster is growling back at them heavily.

So you are asking if they are so screwed up, why do I care? I want this model to succeed.  Social analytics are important as Social search takes over Portal search.  It is more important to know if Suzie Smith is an important influencer of a certain product than Jack Martin.  Klout has some great tools and they were heading in the right direction.  Every company makes mistakes, but you don’t want to slap the hand that feeds you.  Coke survived the whole New Coke debacle.  Some people tried it, didn’t like it and went back to the old coke. We shall see how this plays out.

Author’s note:  Personally my score dropped from 61 to 53.  To me this means I’m barely in the 50th percentile.  Maybe that is right, I don’t know.  What bothers me more is that Klout has their version of a Myers-Briggs grid.  They group people in from Celebrities to Thought Leaders to Conversationalists to Listeners, etc.  That analysis has me listed as a “Dabbler”, someone who just isn’t that into social media and should try using it more.  What?  If I tweet or Facebook any more, my own mother might disown me.  Hey did I mention that my 80 year old mother now has a Klout score not far behind me and she has only tweeted twice?

HELPFUL LINKS

If you’ve never heard of Klout, sign up here: http://www.klout.com

If you’d like to get a Kred score, sign up here: http://www.kred.ly

To read the post about the change announced by Klout: http://corp.klout.com/blog/

If you’d like to follow me and boost my Klout score (shameless plug), you can go here: http://www.twitter.com/Route53

Inspire to be Inspired – Breast Cancer stories

26 Monday Sep 2011

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Leaving your heart

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

This morning my family participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for breast cancer.  I have to admit that having dedicated my runs to breast cancer research over the last 3 years, I wasn’t necessarily excited about running with my family as part of the team put together by the schoolthat our kids attend.  I like running alone with my thoughts, but this run is for a good cause and breast cancer runs are an event that I encourage everyone to experience.

Each year I forget what a scene it is.  Survivors of breast cancer are given special shirts that help them stand out.    As my kids and I picked up our regular shirts we saw my wife go to the “Survivors” tent to pick up her shirt.  The hug she was given by the volunteer and the clapping that people gave her hit me.  It reminded me how serious this all is and how lucky we are.  Everywhere, teams lined up for their group photo.  That is where you saw the numbers.  We counted 5 in the Bank of America group, 6 in the Oracle group, 3 in our school’s group.  Another 4 in the Pottery Barn group.  The numbers were there.  1 in 8 people there had survived cancer.

My son and I ran the 5K race leaving my wife and another mom survivor after she told us to run ahead.  As we ran past a survivor or one passed us the cheering got loud.  We completed the race and waited at the finish line for my wife.  It is such a rare race.  People wait by the finish line more than any other race and cheer each other on.  Most runners leave, but no at this race.  As you see that special pink shirt that says “Survivor”, you see their fist pump, the tears and the smiles on their face and you cheer and clap until your hands hurt.  And then for me I see my wife running across the line holding my daughters ahdna and her friend’s hand up high and smiling.  My son put his arm around my waist.  We let everyone else cheer.  It made me proud and inspired as a participant. Sounds weird, but that’s how I felt.  In a way, I felt bad that I had almost not wanted to participate for my own selfish reasons.

Pink Balloon arch by the Ferry building start line

Yes I was inspired by my wife as well as the hundreds of other survivors who crossed the finish line today.  But more importantly I was inspired by the outpouring of community that I saw as people encouraged complete strangers and urged them on.  One lady said , “This race is nothing.  I kicked cancer’s butt” as  local reporter approached her as she crossed the finish line.  The power of encouragement drove them.  My wife said the outpouring of encouragement every step of the way wouldn’t let her stop.

Probably the best part of the Komen Race For the Cure is the celebration at the end where survivors walk one by one through arches of pink flowers  and are serenaded with a round of applause from all participants.   As each individual survivor emerges, the roar is amazing and you can almost see their stories.  There were women in their 80s.  There was a young teenage girl.  There were women of all ethnicities.  As woman after woman emerges, there is the build up of emotion and you wonder if it will ever end.
Then everyone breaks out and sings “I will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor (?).  To me the song is wrong.  I think they should be playing Eye of the Tiger BY Survivor.  These women are not survivors.  They are tough fighters.  Just like Rocky.  They inspire us to run and never ever give up because we know where we came from.

10 Year Reflection

19 Monday Sep 2011

Posted by in Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

New York Skyline as I think of it

It took me a week to just write this as I felt too overwhelmed to write this last week.  I started writing and then had to call the family of a friend who passed 10 years ago in the New York tragedy.  I was thinking of scrapping this post, but just needed to write it down for my own sake.  It is my own therapy even if it doesn’t make sense.

======

September 11, 2001 will always be a day that those of us currently over the age of 20 will remember.  We will remember where we were, we will remember those who lost their lives, those who knew people who lost their lives, and then those who subsequently lost their lives to fight for the freedom we have created in America.

Although I was affected and have thoughts about each of those classmates, neighbors and relatives who are now gone, I worry more about the future.  The one where my child will never really know what that skyline looked like in real life before 9/11.  The one where my child won’t feel that ultimate level of safety from those who do not like the way we live and could care less about who your are. The one where our society was starting not to feel so ill-willed and more tolerant towards people of other beliefs.

A picture taken 20 May 1986 in New York

My son’s birthday is 9/11 and I hope it just becomes a normal day.  He still calls it the Fireman Birthday although this year we did sit him down to watch documentaries of that fateful day.  One thing that really bothered me is the legacy we are leaving our children. I posted these photos here because I don’t want the twin towers to be remembered in smoke or crumbling in a video, or seeing a plane run into them.  As this is his birthday, he needs to know the importance of the date and to be proud to call it his birthday.  I did show him some fun stuff though too.  There was the video I took of when I lived in New Jersey and commuted through the World Trade Center every day.  It was a crazy mad rush every morning and it was such a weird feeling to see the WTC as it looked back in the early 90s.  There were photos from when I lived above the Holland Tunnel in Newport City in Jersey City on the 32 floor.  The WTC was right there and dominated the skyline.  Whenever I go back I still feel like I see those twin towers there.

New York is regaining its stride.  It is puffing out its chest.  It will be stornger than ever, but that scar will always exist.  It will be a reminder of what we lost so that we could move ahead.  For me it is just a reminder to do better.  Do more.  Don’t forget what is important in life and to enjoy it.  It could be gone tomorrow.  For me, 9/11 will serve as a reminder to Never Forget what is important, not just to Never Forget what happened on that day 10 years ago.

 

3 Years Later – Still Standing

09 Friday Sep 2011

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

“Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did.  Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid”  – Elton John

It has been three years since my wife’s cancer surgery.  We haven’t even talked about it being an anniversary of that day.  I know she has been begging her oncologist to be removed from some of the test medications she has been taking.  Maybe 3 years has been enough.  Well today is a milestone.  Probably a milestone my wife would rather forget than celebrate, yet one to set as a marker along the side of the road of life.  I for one still remember that day like it was yesterday.  Reading that blog entry again seems so surreal.

3 years.  Since then it has been:

  • 3 more surgeries.
  • Taking 4 huge  pills daily. Although she can tell you, I don’t know if I can tell you what they are for.  One is to fight the reoccurrence of cancer, another is for the side  effects and another is to balance out the side effects is all I know.
  • Additionally there is that monthly shot that leaves her belly black and blue for a week
  • Then there is the 3 times a week physical therapy.  That knife thing scares me.  It is supposed to smooth out the skin and prevent the build up of scar tissue, but it is just ridiculous,
  • There is the monthly counseling with the oncologist and staff, and
  • There is the monthly meeting to go over the test results of her medications.

Despite being a daily voluntary lab rat the last several years to help studies for future victims of cancer, my wife has really embraced life more than ever and it has changed her.  Her strength and her courage are beyond what I ever imagined she had in her.  Those changes in her life mentioned above might be considered inconveniences to many of us, but she takes it all in stride to the point where she forgets to tell me that she had an appointment until the day is over and to say that the oncologist told her to say hi to me.

They say that you aren’t truly in remission until you pass the five year mark, but my wife is already a Survivor.  More than that, she is a Winner.

Hurricane Irene brings Reality TV to a Long Day

28 Sunday Aug 2011

Posted by in Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How do you take a crazy day and make it somewhat amusing?  You take the worst storm to hit the Northern East Coast in years, you add 20+ hours of travel, you visit the site of where you met your spouse, and then you bring the hit Reality TV Show, “Desperate Housewives of New Jersey” to the mix.

For all those caught in the panic in the NY tri-state area over Hurricane Irene I do apologize for my making light of this storm as I do realize there was some damage.  Anyone trying to legitimately escape from New Jersey today (actually yesterday) found their flights cancelled with no other options (my customer service agent from India suggested I drive to Harrisburg in the middle of the night to catch a flight backwards to Dulles).  What?  Note to United and Continental Airlines, give your foreign customer service agents a lesson in American geography!

Fortunately we got the brave idea to rent a car and drive 6 hours to Pittsburgh, fly to Houston and then on San Francisco.  Well, it turns out a lot of people had that idea.  We lined up at 8am at the Hertz counter and found people driving to all parts of the country.  Then, on the Pennsylvania Turnpike we saw cars stacked with supplies getting out of town (sure some were heading off to college).  We took a quick pit stop to Pittsburgh and visited Carnegie Mellon where my wife and I met as undergrads and hadn’t been back since.

When we arrived in Pittsburgh we found people who had even gone to catch 6am flights in Newark, NJ and were turned away and headed straight to Western Pennsylvania.  Incidentally I ran into a business colleague who appears on the Reality TV show, ” Real Housewives of New Jersey”.  I guess even reality TV was escaping Hurricane Irene.

Real Housewives of NJ cast running from Hurricane Irene

As it turns out, the whole cast (sans kids) was on the same flights with me and my family.  For you Real Housewives fans on the trip were Joe and Teresa, Rich & Kathy, Joe & Melissa, Caroline & Albert & Family ( Albie, Chris & Lauren) along with Lauren’s boyfriend and Chris and Albie’s roommate, & Chris and Jacqueline.  There were a couple young women along who I think were the travel secretaries for the show.  Additionally a couple of the brothers ( I think they are Joe Giudice’s brothers) were along.

Now those who follow know I’m a big fan of reality TV, but it was fun to see what people in general thought.  Young girls from California were going nuts.  One girl who sat next to me asked who I knew on the show as she was talking to them (I actually wouldn’t have if I hadn’t needed to exchange seats with Caroline’s children so that I could sit with my own kids).  Otherwise this group wasn’t really bothered at all.  I saw maybe one or two people bother them for a photo and as a group they all seemed cordial.  What I did find interesting was that a couple of “Jersey Shore” type guys said they didn’t watch the show because it made them look bad although they admitted that they were representative of a pretty funny stereotype, but just perpetuated things.  So basically more people outside New Jersey found it more interesting than those within New Jersey.  I knew I’m probably part of the male minority that watches the show anyway although I would say that for the most part the women looked thinner, the Joes looked shorter, and the cast seemed more subdued than you see on television.  Of course that could all be part of the fact that they had been traveling for 24 hours as well.

It looks like Northern California will be a featured road trip in Season 4 as they will be spending a week here.  Definitely some wine tasting is my guess given that no kids were along.  Perhaps Jacqueline and Chris might be visiting Ashley (if she did move out to California).

Some observations:

  1. Everyone seemed to get along nicely
  2. They all tried to stay very low key
  3. People were most interested in saying hi to Joe & Teresa
  4. Joe Gorga.. yeah he’s short, but man can that guy strut….my 11 year old now can copy him saying “how ya doin'”
  5. Joe Giudice pulling around Teresa’s leopard spotted rollie!  Too funny!  and then taking a couple tries to get it in the overhead!
  6. Vito and the chatting up these two girls from Price Waterhouse fresh out of college…everyone was in stitches listening to the convo for 4 hours!
  7. When offered Albie my exit row seats, Albie picked his sister to sit with him and not his brother.
  8. Al & Caroline and Chris & Jacqueline sat in 1st class on the second leg of the trip.

Let’s hope no tables get flipped or wine racks thrown while they are here in San Francisco this week!  In the end, it turns out a hurricane which created rough travel conditions for all turned into a somewhat amusing and entertaining day!

35 Months Later – Living with Cancer

01 Friday Jul 2011

Posted by in Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , ,

Breast Cancer Logo

Raise breast sawareness

35 months ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. It seemes so long ago but time really flew The care we received from the UCSF Breast Cancer Clinic was unparallelled. This week I came across an article covering the head of the clinic and thought I’d share it with all of you:

by Julian Guthrie for the San Francisco Chronicle:
Surgeon Laura Esserman, head of breast cancer research and treatment at UCSF, has favorite songs she sings to patients as they’re about to go under a general anesthetic. There’s “Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing,” and her all-time favorite, “For Good.”

One of her greatest areas of impact may come through a statewide research project called Athena, which she has spearheaded and will involve the early screening and follow-up for breast cancer of 150,000 women statewide at five UC cancer centers. The University of California initiative has just begun to enroll patients at UCSF.

Q: What are you excited about right now in the cancer field?

A: We started enrolling patients at two of our five centers, with others starting to enroll in July. We have also started doing a comprehensive risk assessment for every woman who comes in for screenings. We are looking at prevention as part of primary care. We are at the beginning of the road in making breast cancer prevention like heart disease prevention. We want to build a new model.

Q: What is the latest recommendation in terms of mammography?

A: If you are under 50, you need to sit down with your provider and ask for your level of risk. What is my breast density? Should I get screened or not screened? If your risk is high, yes, get screened. But again, I think screening has the most significant benefit for women between the ages of 50 and 70.

Q: What are the most important lifestyle changes people can make for breast cancer prevention?

A: If you are postmenopausal and you are overweight, you will have higher levels of estrogen. Through diet and exercise, you can bring that down, which is good for everything, including a sense of well-being. We try to get women to stick to no more than three to four glasses of wine a week, as alcohol is an associated risk factor for breast cancer.

Q: Have you developed a thick skin in delivering the news to women and men that they have breast cancer?

A: I don’t have a thick skin. You can’t. The good news is that there are some people for whom cancer is not that significant, where you can really reassure the person. Of course, it’s very hard if you know someone is in a really bad situation. I face it with them. You can’t just sit back and say this is an academic exercise. This is something that affects their lives – that determines whether their children will grow up and know them.

Q: Where did you grow up, and what did you want to be?

A: I was born in Chicago, and when I was 9 my family moved to Miami. I always wanted either to be a cancer researcher or cancer doctor.

Q: What was your awakening to cancer?

A: Hmm. I read a biography of Madame Curie. I thought what she did was cool.

Q: Where do you live in the city and where are your favorite hangouts?

A: Ashbury Heights. I love to work my way through the Top 100 restaurant list. My son and I were working our way through the cheap eats list.

Q: Secret talents?

A: I love to barbecue anything.

Q: How does working in the midst of cancer, when life becomes more precious, affect you?

A: You never know what’s in store for you. You have to live life to the fullest. I have a great sense of urgency. We need more answers and solutions.

Q: If you weren’t working as a pioneer in the breast cancer field, what would you be doing?

A: Trying to improve the education system. When I cure cancer, I’ll start working on that.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/22/DDS81JRVIS.DTL#ixzz1QpkKfK4H

No Ties or Cards Please

19 Sunday Jun 2011

Posted by in Route 53 - Life is A Highway, San Francisco - Sports & Life

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

Happy Father's Day

Father’s Day.

I say this every year and not to be unappreciative of my greatest gift – being a dad, but for me Father’s Day is not about me, but for my Father who left my life 7 years ago. To those of us who had a supportive and close relationship with their Father, you know what I mean.

“Just be a good kid”
“Just clean your room”
“Save your money”

That is what my dad always used to say on Father’s Day when I would ask if there is anything he needed. He said this whether I was 10, 15, 20, or 30 years old. It didn’t matter to him and now I realize that as much as he enjoyed his day, he was honoring his own father and not himself.

Well I should say, he did honor himself. He rewarded himself on Fathers Day with a game of golf with his friends. Fathers Day then rewarded my dad with his own Fathers Day memories and to this day they are memories for me. Fathers Day will always be his day. In 1987, my dad let me caddy for him at our local golf course on Father’s Day. Getting up at 7am on a cold foggy morning was my gift to my dad. on hole #17 with the worlds top players just across the street playing the US Open at San Francisco’s Olympic Club, there were no roars, no fist pumps, no new cars awarded as my dad hit his 3rd and last hole-in-one of his life.

As I picked the ball out of the hole and gave my dad a big hug and his friends celebrated what would eventually be free drinks back at the clubhouse. All I could say was, “Happy Fathers Day, Dad”. I still remember the smile on his face to this day when he gave me a wink and a simple “Thank You”. I didn’t give him a present, but he gave one to himself. They say golf is a game of generations. For me, Fathers Day will forever be about that day for my dad. I am only glad I was able to share that day with him so that I could relive it every year.

Giants World Champions Baseball Songs

24 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by in San Francisco - Sports & Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , ,

Haven’t blogged in a bit, mostly because of time.  It has been busy at my new job .  Strike that.  Not busy, but crazy. 

Anyway, about to start posting regularly again.  Have been attending many Giants games lately and following a championship season, the marketing arm of the Giants is in full swing.  The in-stadium multi-media show is amazing.  What I thought I’d do here today just to ease back into things is post some of the cool songs related to the Giants that are often played in the stadium to pump up the crowd.  Which one do you like best?:

I know purists might just prefer to hear I Left My Heart in San Francisco or Talking Baseball, but humor me.

Finding Inspiration

05 Saturday Mar 2011

Posted by in Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

Mountains are the means, the man is the end.  The goal is not to reach the tops of the mountains, but to improve the man.

– Walter Bonatti, Italian mounaineer

I’m one of those people who is always taken by inspirational movies, especially if they are true.  They really help me dream and look for solutions in life.  Having been in the online retail business though, I am not tainted by the fact that I know many movies take their liberties  with the truth, whether they are “The Blind Side” or “Rudy” or “61”.  Like most, I am one of those people who usually tells you to read the book first.  The books are always better, right?  Movies always leave out the details and don’t capture the true emotion.  Not the emotion of the writer, but the emotion you feel from interpreting the words as your eyes meet them.

In this modern day where social media allows us access to more of these stories, I find myself these days inspired by the stories of two fellow alums of Carnegie Mellon.  I was lucky enough as an undergraduate to have met Randy Pausch when he was a graduate student at Carnegie Mellon and shared a carpool over Thanksgiving from Pittsburgh to Baltimore.  His well documented You Tube video, called the Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams became a hit and inspired many who faced death with a sense of calm, respect and fortitude to keep on teaching and giving back.  He also gave inspiration to living life to the fullest.  In fact there was no need for a movie as the video captured the leacture and was all that was needed.

More recently, I picked up the book, 127 Hours: Between A Rock and A Hard Place.  It is actually a little hard to imagine this scenario if you’ve never been there.  I saw the original documentary many years ago on Dateline with Tom Brokaw which I recommend you all watch before seeing the movie or reading the book.  It will help you with the perspective.  I’ve inserted Part 1 here.

The amazing parts are the actual video re-count that he captures where he makes comments and last testaments in expectation that he will not be able to live to tell us family and friends that he loves them. 

I’m about one third of the way through the book and I thought I’d review the Dateline interview again this morning.  I’m always looking to inspire my son who at age 11 still is learning to dream and think big.  For the first time I saw him riveted and inspired not by the crazy outrageous voyage that led the main character to his predicament, but by his will to succeed, to remain calm and cool under extreme pressure and to show a strong will to find one’s passion. 

I’m ready to go out today and succeed.  In the book, Aron Ralston talks about his richness in life that he appreciates.  I intend to go out there and do that today and look forward to finding tomorrow’s inspiration

Letter from a Real Asian Tiger Dad – Letter #3

13 Sunday Feb 2011

Posted by in Route 53 - Life is A Highway

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

 “One of the things that my parents have taught me is never listen to other people’s expectations. You should live your own life and live up to your own expectations, and those are the only things I really care about.”
—Tiger Woods

Speaking of Tiger parents, I found the quote above and thought it most appropriate for this post given that Tiger Woods was trained by one of the ultimate Tiger parents.  Tiger was trained by his own dad and held to high expectations by him.  As we all know, he became arguably the best golfer of all time.  His father (African American) dominated his life while his quiest Asian mother watched idly from behind the ropes.  Now his off the course issues can’t be overlooked.  Were his failures the result of being raised by a Tiger parent?  As a Tiger parent, you can’t be expected or expect to be able to manage your child forever.

This past week I was speaking with a work colleague about our 11 year old sons.  He told me how he got upset with his son for speaking on his cell phone, chasing girls and forgetting his studies.  How did he handle it?  With a belt.  He said he teared up that he did it and was shaking afterwards.  The joke (myth) I always hear is that Asian people never hit their children and that other cutlures are more apt to physically discipline their child.  Whether stereotype or truth, there really is no right way.  It depends upon the child.

The following is the last of 3 letters that my grandfather gave to me when I told him as a young teen that I wasn’t going to work in his meat company.  They were letters that his friend had given to his son who had just graduated from college.  Together they reflect what was believed at the time by elderly Asian  men to be the proper use of old Far Eastern culture family values and Western culture.  These elderly Asian men had nothing and believed that family came first and that sacrifice in the name of family was much more honorable.  Please remember this letter is over 30 years old.

==============

June 22, 1978

Dear XXXX,

As your father I welcome you home, and as the President of YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.   I welcome you to enter YYYYYYY .  I know you have given up your $14,500 job with a very well thought of consulting company and are willing to work with YYYYYY in order to receive the knowledge and experience in management from me.  As you know, I started my business when I was only sixteen.  I had no friends to help me and no capital to operate the business, but I have built my business in a way as it is today.  Furthermore, I have been formally educated for only six years.  But I have been learning very hard by myself, and I believe that today, my knowledge in the economy and in politics could be better than what the avearge people possess.

As regards to your job, in general parents want to send their children to other companies for receiving the initial training in order for them not t be spoiled.  I cannot agree with them in their views.  When you work in the big instititutions your job is only  limited in the very small area.  Your work experience an d knowledge when then be suitable for a limited small area in a big organization like YYYYYYY. I have some experience with some employees of Nihon Schering, who worked with Takedi and Shionogi.  These employees had obtained a very little working experience from those big companies, but they had learnd how to criticize the work instead of how to improve the work.  As Mr. Takeda  told me, in his experience the best employees he had acquired were those who came from Nihon, even they were not the best situation for Nihon.

Naturally it was difficult for the father to employ his children in his own company.  If the father expects his children to perform a good job, he should make himself a model to show his children.  This is not easy.  For most fathers in my age want to be relaxed and enjoy their late life, especially when they have enough money to support themselves.  But I am still willing to work hard to set an example to show you until you have learned the business.

In your case, you are very lucky because you are well-educated, you have the capital from your father, and you have many friends from your own and from your father.  I believe you can do hundred times better and be more successful than your father , if you try hard.

You work with YYYYY and you certainly hope one day you will be promoted to the management level.  To be a member of the management, it means you are in a high position and receive more money, but it also requires you to perform a more important job with more responsibilities.  To be a member of the management in YYYYYYY, as the policy adopted in Nihon Schering,

1. You need to work more than other employees,

2. You need to perform more important work,

3. You need to perform more difficult work, and

4. You should be a model to show to the other employees.

I know the above requirements are not easy to perform.  But, for your future success, you should try your best to achieve it.

Love from

Your dear father

===================

I’ve kept these letters for over 32 years.  I still find the nuggets in them, but am reminded of the stern nature by which the patriarchs of Asian families ruled their families.  You take this back to modern times and there is no way I can parent like this with my own children.  While I try to teach my kids the value of the nuclear family and that working hard and striving to be the best that you can be is important, it is no guarantee for success.

What everyone keeps asking me though is if this individual and his father ended up okay.  Well the truth is that the person these letters were written to eventually became the CEO of his dad’s company and took over as CEO 10 years ago.  He is a mulit-millionaire public figure and I would venture to guess that he is more successful than his own father.  His two younger brothers are okay financially although they both left their father’s business and received only the value of their trusts. It must be mentioned that  the father’s philosophy did have it’s toll on the family.  He divorced his wife, and she went back to Asia with their daughter.  His old-school treatment of the women in his life could not withstand the pressures of Western culture .

This is the last of the 3-letter series of the Asian Tiger dad.